PartThree

Resolving the Region 1 Issue

2012-02-29T14:50:00.001Z

On Monday, the band were playing at the opening of a new Tesco superstore. Because this meant getting up early in the morning, I retired to bed early on Sunday... only to find myself unable to sleep.

This proved to be somewhat annoying, but it did give me opportunity to deal with one of the issues that had been plaguing me for some days - I got up, dug out the instruction manuals for the surround sound amplifier and Sky+ box, and set to work.

I have thus been able to re-assign the various audio inputs on my amp so that they actually make sense again (that is, to watch the TV, you now set it to "TV" mode, and so on).

The other thing I discovered in all of this was that it was also possible to wire up my DVD player without any extra cables at all - the Sky+ box had an extra SCART input, and so I connected the DVD player through that. Sadly, the amp only allows full audio input from two sources, so we'll have to manage with stereo sound from the DVD player, but since it's only for region 1 DVDs that should be fine.

I even discovered that there's space to connect up the Playstation 2 in addition to everything else, so if we're so inclined we could even run that in parallel.

All in all, it was a bit of a triumph.

New PC

2012-02-29T14:36:00.001Z

It's always fun getting a new PC. A chance to start afresh, with a clean slate, and without all the crud that gradually builds up in a PC as it is used. Nice!

Except that you inevitably have to then go through a long process of identifying the software you need and reinstalling that, of setting up all the preferences so that the PC is actually pleasant to use, and a whole load of other hassle. One of my particular favourites is the task of copying across all the vital data that has been built up over the years, which of course you don't want to lose.

Basically, the idea of having a new PC is great, the short-term process of getting a new PC sucks for a few days, and then actually having a new PC is quite nice - for a few weeks, until the novelty wears off.

Still, new PC! Shiny!

The Last Game

2012-02-27T14:28:00.000Z

After the fund-raising, I spent Saturday afternoon running the Star Wars game I talked about in a previous post. This was probably my last game before the wedding in April, and one that I had been looking forward to for some time. It was also one that I had put a fair amount of work into.

And it was okay. Not spectacular, just okay.

Sigh.

There were really two issues at work here that I think contributed to my dissatisfaction. The first, and probably most significant, was that I was just a bit too over-loaded on Saturday. I got back to the flat a mere ten minutes before the scheduled start time, and hadn't even finished getting changed before the first knock on the door. In hindsight, I should have given myself at least an hour to wind down from the fund-raising before trying to run the game.

The other issue is that RPGs are incredibly dependent on the people around the table. Ultimately, it doesn't matter all that much which game you're playing, or how exciting the premise is, or the nature of the setting, or the characters, or how well prepared the DM is. The majority of the enjoyment of the group will come from the people around the table.

At the legendary Hunter game of last year, we had a spectacular group, who really grabbed their characters, were excited at the premise, and who really ran with it. At the Christmas game, again, we had a great group round the table, who generated all sorts of craziness, bouncing off one another.

On Saturday, we were slightly hampered in that one player completely forgot it was on, and when called felt that he should instead use the time to study. And fair enough - actually important things must come first! The other three players took their characters and worked with them, playing competently... but there didn't quite seem to be that 'spark' that turns an okay game into a spectacular one.

(Plus, there wasn't much by way of plotting, sudden but inevitable betrayals, or general backstabbing as I had expected, and maybe hoped. But maybe there just wasn't the opportunity for it?)

Still, everyone had fun, which is the main goal. There were some lovely and iconic scenes. And, of course, they spotted the Ackbar/trap correlation immediately. I neither found myself running out of material, nor having large amounts of excess material prepared. All of which was to the good.

The lessons learned, I think, are fourfold:

The 'magic' that turns a decent game into a great game can't really be manufactured, so all the DM should try to do is run a functional game, and let the players take care of the rest.
There should have been more opportunities for scheming, and more overt opportunities for scheming.
A game like that probably needs at least four players. Additionally, there are a couple of our players who serve as ideal "agents of chaos" - that's something this game could have done with a bit more of.
I need to remember to give myself more time between activities in future. Starting the game while tired was not a good plan.

And that's that. Barring a sudden resurgence of the Saturday Game (which I don't now expect), that's my last game before the wedding. After the wedding, all being well, the next game will be the restart of "The Eberron Code". And then I potentially have a game to run in September, titled "Black Crusade: A Heresy of Angels". But whether that happens or not will depend enormously on how the next few months play out.

I do apologise

2012-02-27T13:32:00.000Z

On Saturday, the band engaged in the worst fund-raising event ever. We had applied to the council for the right to do a "flag day" collection in the local shopping centre, which basically involved showing up in our kilts and standing around rattling tins for several hours. No playing, no entertaining the crowds, not even bag packing. Just hours of tedious standing.

And, of course, we didn't raise much money, certainly not enough to justify twelve people each giving up three hours out of their Saturday. Of course, this was pretty much inevitable. We're in that awkward period when the Janurary sales have ended, nobody has any money, and everyone is pretty miserable. Of course people didn't want to donate to a pipe band that, as far as they could tell, didn't actually play the pipes.

So, I'm sorry to the people of Falkirk for that imposition on your good name. We'll try not to do such an event again - it's not worth our while, and we'd much rather be doing something (almost anything) else.

(Of course, the ideal is to try to support the band through playing events. I suspect that might be nothing more than a dream - we'd probably have to play pretty much every week to raise the same funds. Still, perhaps between playing and the bad packing events that tend to be quite profitable...)

#9: "A Town Like Alice", by Nevil Shute (a book from The List, although, sadly, not a good one)

Bit of a cheek

2012-02-27T11:05:00.001Z

As you probably know, I'm not a great environmentalist. However, I certainly agree that we should recycle as much as reasonably possible.

But, as I've said before, reuse is better than recycling, and not using something in the first place is even better still.

In particular, one of the things that I most object to is the endless flow of junk mail through the post, almost none of which is of any relevance. I find these particularly annoying - not only is there the waste of recycling the envelopes (which shouldn't be used at all), but there's also frequently a need to shred the letters themselves before recycling, adding a waste of energy to the offense.

I find it particularly galling when the spam mail comes from companies who have my email address. If they absolutely must send me this junk, they could at least do it electronically, and so generate less waste. (Frankly, I'd rather they just not send it at all, but that's probably too much to ask.) And the absolute worst, of course, are those companies who have my email address, do send me their junk electronically, and then feel the need to send me yet more junk through the regular post!

My bank are perhaps the worst offender of all in this regard. It seems I can barely go a week without getting an offer of a credit card, or a loan, or a mortgage, or house insurance, or... (And, infuriatingly, even if I wanted any of these things from them, it's almost always best to ignore their correspondence and use their online-only specials through Digital Banking. They're wasting all this paper to make me aware of offers I know about, don't want, and know are less good than their other offers!)

Aaargh!

Anyway, on Sunday morning, I went through a batch of junk mail that had built up, recycling some, shredding others. This included yet another offer of home insurance from my bank. And, on the back of the envelope, bold as anything, was a Recycle reminder from my bank!

How Did I Miss the Signs?

2012-02-23T16:20:00.001Z

I discovered yesterday that "Fringe" was on. Unfortunately, it seems that it returned two weeks ago, and I missed any of Sky's 1,000,000 adverts for this fact. So, I have now missed two episodes.

And, honestly, I don't know if I can be bothered to track down the missing episodes and watch them. Maybe I'll just let "Fringe" fall by the wayside, another show that I no longer watch.

It's a shame. The third season of this show was excellent, and the way it ended was brilliant. But they made some very significant changes in the fourth season, such that I just don't see a reason to care any more.

...yawa raf raf yxalag a ni ,oga emit gnol A

2012-02-22T14:11:00.002Z

The game that I'm going to be running on Saturday is a Star Wars game set in a "mirror universe", a concept that is actually much more familiar from Star Trek (although Buffy also used the concept to good effect). The idea is that things are much the same, but subtly skewed. In particular, the moral axis of the setting is skewed, so that what was once good is considered bad, and what was once bad is... well, worse, actually.

Unfortunately, I have found that while such a setting is enormously fun to envisage, and actually quite easy to develop as a concept, actually coming up with a single adventure to fit the setting is really surprisingly hard. The problem is not in coming up with an adventure, as such, but rather with coming up with one that is distinctly a mirror universe adventure, highlighting the major 'fun bits' of the setting.

Sometimes I ponder just how bizarre a life I lead, when these are the sorts of challenges that vex me.

Anyway, I think I've come up with something.

The characters I'm going to be using are a mix of the familiar and the new. The basic premise of the plot is that the characters are escorting the young and idealistic senator from Naboo, one Palpatine, to his new post on Coruscant. Officially, he's travelling in style, but this is of course a decoy. In fact, he's travelling on the Millennium Falcon, under the command of the mighty Captain Chewbacca, a disreputable space pirate if ever there was one.

The PCs, then, number five, although it looks like only four will be used (I don't know which four). The first of these is a disgraced ex-Jedi by the name of Maul, who acts as bodyguard for the senator in the hope of restoring his honour. The other Jedi is one Jane Kenobi, a near-clone (designation Omega Batch 1) of the deceased padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn. The three new characters are a sleazy Ortolan scoundrel/musician, a trigger-happy Rodian mercenary (they always fire first), and a bored soldier who dreams of seeing real action.

To reflect the twisted morality of the mirror universe, I've given each PC a reason why they should betray the rest of the party... and a reason why they shouldn't. I have no idea what they'll choose to do, which should be interesting.

Anyway, the adventure will open with the Millennium Falcon departing Naboo and entering Hyperspace. But it turns out Coruscant is not their destination...

Act One: Point Nadir

It seems that Chewbacca is running a job on the side, and so he takes the Falcon to the space fortress Point Nadir, a hive of scum and villainy if ever there was one. There, he delivers a shipment of deathsticks to Gardula the Hutt, a gift from his boss Jabba.

While in Point Nadir, the party have an opportunity to mingle with the scum, and perhaps engage in some villainy. In particular, various opportunities for betrayal raise their heads. Oh, and there's a bounty hunter...

As they leave, Gardula drops a bombshell - forces of the Alderaan Protectorate are in the process of bombarding the Wookiee colony on Endor, where Chewbacca's mate and children live. Naturally, the idealistic Palpatine wants to rush off and help, and Chewbacca is likewise keen to go (although as an exile, he is honour-bound not to step foot on the moon). But, what will the PCs decide?

Act Two: Endor

This act is, of course, entirely optional. If the PCs refuse to help, Chewbacca will reluctantly set course for Coruscant. But if they do that, there will be consequences, as he won't provide any help later.

Anyway, if the party go to Endor, this act is a simple rescue mission: Chewbacca drops them at a landing zone, they have to race through the forest evading both armies, and 'rescue' a near-feral Wookiee she-warrior in full battle regalia. Having extracted their target, they then have to race to their extraction point, and hope to goodness that the Millennium Falcon hasn't been shot down in the interim.

(There are various ways the PCs could make this easier for themselves. Notably, they could hire some mercs on Point Nadir. Of course, the danger with this approach is that that creates greater opportunities for betrayal...)

Act Three: Coruscant

So, the Millennium Falcon finally makes it to Coruscant. However, word of their cargo has leaked out. On approach, an Agent Ackbar of the port authority comes on the radio and apologetically redirects the Falcon to a different landing platform. (Agent Ackbar because... you know... It's a Trap!)

Anyway, the Falcon sets down, and it met by their contact, the sister and handmaid of th Queen, Kordé Amidala. She is flanked by guards clad in the livery of Naboo's allies, the Alderaan Protectorate.

But, of course, her betrayal is sudden and inevitable. We then proceed to a big set-piece battle featuring airborne skiffs (filled with troops from Haruun Kal, and led by Depa Billaba, the padawan of Jedi master Mace Windu), several floating platforms, possibly some 'rescues' by self-serving mercenaries, whatever final betrayals the party members want to spring, and potentially a high-speed chase through the skies of Coruscant.

Which should be fun.

Epilogue

I honestly have no idea where all of that is likely to go. There's a real good chance that the party will very quickly implode and wipe themselves out, or they might just cut through the plot in an instant. Either way, it should be fun. I hope.

How to write a good mystery adventure

2012-02-21T14:34:00.000Z

Back in October, I did a post on how not to write a good mystery adventure. Given that I am currently in the process of putting together an adventure for a game on Saturday, that may or may not be a mystery, I thought it would be a good time to post about how to put together a good mystery adventure.

I'm going to talk in terms of a murder mystery, but that's just a useful shorthand. Most types of mystery can be developed in much the same way.

Step One: Create the Characters First

More than most other types of adventures, mysteries are all about the characters, both living and dead. If there has been a murder, it is important to know who did it, how they did it, and why they did it. If the murderer discovered that his wife was having an affair and killed her lover in a rage, that's going to lead to a very different set of clues than if the wife was a long-suffering victim of domestic abuse and so quietly poisoned her husband over some months.

So, create the characters first.

Start with the murderer and the victim. Presumably, they knew one another, but what sequence of events brought them to a violent end? Was it the culmination of a long-standing hate, or was it a sudden reversal?

And then, create the characters around the central pairing. What friends and relatives did they have? What about co-workers? How did the local police interact with the two? (This last is particularly important, since if the PCs are investigating the murder, sooner or later they're going to have to interact with the local police. So, you'll want to know who they are.)

Step Two: Fill in the Details of the Mystery

Okay, you know who committed the crime, and who was the victim. Now, fill in the details of how the murder occurred, the set of motives that led to this most heinous of deeds, and the set of clues that immediately resulted.

So, where did the murder occur? And how did the murder occur? Was there anyone else there?

Trace the key events leading up to the murder, starting either a day before the murder took place or the point where the murderer decided to act (whichever came first), through the preparations for the murder, to the point where the two were together, the murder, and then the next day or so.

Who saw the victim last (other than the muderer)? Who knew where he was going? Who might have seen the murderer acting strangely, either before or after the deed?

Consider the nature of the murder itself. All murders generate evidence of some sort, even if that is only the dead body itself. What did the murderer do with the corpse? Did he have clothes to clean or destroy? A murder weapon?

At this point, you don't need to fix specifics. All you need to do is generate a whole bunch of potential clues for the PCs to find.

Step Three: Prepare the Locations

It may seem a bit odd, but it is not until this point that you want to lock down the locations in the adventure. You'll want some nice, mundane locations: the hostel where the PCs are staying, the police station, the local church. You'll want some 'neutral' locations keyed to the victim and the murderer: places of work, their homes, the homes of their ex-wives or mistresses. And you'll want the locations tied directly to the murder: the lock-up where the deed occurred, the pit where the body is buried...

Again, you don't need to tie these down with specifics too tightly at this place. In many cases, these will just be 'stock' locations: the church may well just be a church, same as any other. You'll need a handful of 'flavour' details to bring the place to life, but not much else.

Step Four: Build the Web

Now, we get to put things together.

Start with the conclusion that the PCs need to reach. "Col. Mustard, in the Study, with the crowbar."

Now, determine the clues that they need to find to come to each of these conclusions. Here, you want to establish the minimal set of investigations to get from the start of the adventure to the finish.

But at that point, you might be tempted to stop. Don't!

You need at least three clues for each conclusion the PCs need to reach, and these shouldn't all be in the same place. Furthermore, you need various 'entry points' to the network of characters you have - knowing the Bob has been killed may well point the PCs to speak to his wife, but probably won't direct them to his mistress automatically. But if Bob's wife comments bitterly on "that woman", that may direct them to the mistress, and the clues she has.

And so, you get an adventure that looks like a web. It starts at a single point (the PCs arrive), and ends at a single point ("Col. Mustard, in the Study, with the crowbar."), but in between there are lots of different points, joined by lots of little lines, all marked with clues.

(And when you run it, the PCs are likely to jump all across the web, probably skipping off the lines quite frequently. That's fine - you just need to make sure you have enough to ensure they don't get stuck.)

Step Five: Take a Break

You've forgotten something. No, really, you have. And if you just leave it at that, either the PCs will get stuck, or they'll immediately short-circuit the thing and ruin your adventure.

So, take a break from your planning, for at least an hour and preferably for a day or more. Then come back to it, check the web again, check the characters, and try to think "what if..." And then plug the holes you find.

Step Six: Play!

Some more thoughts:

Remember, your players aren't Sherlock Holmes. They won't pick up on fine details unless you specifically point them out, and if you point them out then they're not really details so much as "big honking clues". So, make your clues fairly obvious and easy to find.
Everyone lies. In a mystery adventure, it seems to be quite common to have a whole bunch of "nice guys", and then one "shifty guy". That is, the regular folk are nice and helpful, while the murderer glows brightly under detect evil. Gosh, that's a tough mystery... So remember, everyone lies, and everyone has something to hide. The grocer maybe didn't kill anyone, but if he was also having an affair with the murderer's wife, suddenly he might seem a tad evasive. The local police are being awkward - did they have something to do with it, or do they just not want amateurs getting in their way?
Don't forget to include some "floating clues". Chances are that, despite your best efforts, the PCs will get stuck. If you have some clues that can be dropped in when they just "ask around", or do something you didn't expect, you can easily get them going again.
No matter what you do, there's still a real good chance that the mystery will fail. Either the players simply won't be able to figure it out, or they'll solve it in an instant, quite possibly by accident, and you're stuck for the evening. Ultimately, though, that's not that big a deal. Have the bad guy make a run for it, and turn the adventure into a big chase instead. Or just accept that sometimes things fail.

And that's it.

That Thing We'd Forgotten...

2012-02-21T08:46:00.000Z

For the past couple of months, whenever I've been asked how the wedding preparations have been going, I've replied that either they're going really well, or we've forgotten something vital.

At the weekend, we discovered what we'd forgotten.

Some months ago, before even Lady Chocolat went off to Kenya on her great adventure, we had a meeting with the aunt of a friend of LC's, who bakes cakes. Thanks to a chance meeting, she had volunteered to do our wedding cake for us, which was a piece of amazing good fortune for several reasons. (Well, two: it means we get a cake from someone we know will do a good job, and we get to not pay "wedding cake" prices.)

Anyway, we left the meeting in good spirit. "That's that sorted out," we thought.

The person we were meeting, though, left with a slightly different impression. She thought we'd gone off to think about it. And, not having heard from us since, she assumed that we'd decided to go another way.

Oops.

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. This all came to light when LC happened to make a phone call, and learned of the miscommunication. Fortunately, it remains possible for us to get the cake made as planned. We have another meeting on Sunday, just to finalise things.

So, that's another worry dealt with.

Scary

2012-02-20T10:51:00.001Z

The organisers of the SPL will need to be careful.

At present, Celtic are 17 points ahead of Rangers, with 11 matches still to play. That is, Celtic are on 68 points, Rangers 51, with a possible 33 to play for. If Celtic can reach 85 points, they win the league. That is, they need to win 6 more matches, if Rangers don't drop any points.

However, two of the remaining matches are against Rangers, including the fourth of their next six matches. If Celtic win that, this simultaneously gives them 3 of the points they need and reduces the target by 3 points - they'll only need 5 wins in total.

And that's if Rangers win all of their games. If they were to draw any one of the next three matches, then it becomes even easier. Celtic would then need to reach only 80 points, racking up 4 wins.

With the last of those wins coming against Rangers on the 25th of March.

There is now almost no doubt that Celtic will win the title. Barring a collapse of epic proportions, the league is over. The only question is one of timing.

And, likewise, there seems little doubt that Celtic will win the remaining Old Firm matches of the season. By that time, Rangers' squad will be reduced from its already-minimal level. The big question would seem to be just how much of a thrashing Celtic will dish out.

But Celtic issuing Rangers with a major thrashing, at Ibrox, and winning the league in the process is a recipe for disaster.

An apology

2012-02-20T09:00:00.001Z

It seems I owe Virgin Media an apology. When I decided not to take their fibre optic upgrade, and to stick with their DSL internet, I fully expected them to go ahead and switch off my internet totally. However, as of last night, my internet was still working as before, despite a momentary worry on Saturday morning.

So, well done Virgin Media.

#8: "Return of the Black Company", by Glen Cook

Could Not Be More Wrong

2012-02-16T09:07:00.000Z

My car was ready for collection. The service department closed at 5:30. And I was at work.

So, I duly went on to the Traveline website to find out the bus times to get me there on time. And, as before, the bus I needed was the number 38 service, running every 20 minutes, and specifically the bus that left at 15:59 - this should give me 40 minutes at the far end to cover just over 2 miles, which should be easy using another bus or even walking.

So, I left work at five minutes to four, and walked to the bus stop. And waited. 15:59 rolled around... but the bus did not. This was not terribly unexpected.

The bus finally arrived at 16:09.

Now, the additional wait wasn't all that horrible, all things considered. It was just 10 minutes, and an relatively nice conditions. That said, it did mean that I ended up with only 25 minutes to cover those 2 miles, having missed the time that my connecting bus should have come. And, of course, it was too far to walk in that time. And so, I had to get a taxi, at a rather nasty premium.

Honestly, what is the point of a website giving bus timetables, if it is off by 10 minutes for a service that runs every 20? It literally cannot be more wrong.

(Also, the distinct smell of urine on the bus was rather unpleasant. I wasn't sure if that was some sort of clever comment, or if it was purely incidental that the bus was taking the piss.)

Speaking of Fruit...

2012-02-15T12:43:00.001Z

It is starting to look increasingly like my car is a lemon. Yesterday, after picking up the flowers, I found that the engine had become incredibly sluggish, with a serious loss of acceleration. That engine management light wasn't back on, but otherwise the problem was exactly the same.

Still, the car was driveable, so I brought it to work and then phoned the garage. They offered two choices: they could see it today, or I could wait until a courtesy car was available in two weeks. So, I chose to have it looked at immediately.

This proved to be a really good choice.

When I started the car in the evening, the engine management light was back on. And when driving the car to the garage this morning, I found I had almost no acceleration at all. Indeed, I thought the car was going to get me killed.

So, it's back in for repairs. I'm reasonably sure that it's going to be another occurrance of the same problem as before, and I don't really have any confidence that it's going to stay fixed this time, either.

We'd been talking about getting Lady Chocolat a car to use sometime in the near future. It's starting to look like we may need to replace my car fairly soon, too. It's turned into a very expensive, and very depressing, mistake.

Experimental Cookery 2012: Sechuan Orange Beef

2012-02-15T12:27:00.001Z

For Valentine's Day, I performed my now-traditional task of cooking up a nice dinner for myself and Lady Chocolat. This year had a somewhat Chinese theme: we had mini spring rolls to start, followed by Sechuan orange beef, the recipe in "Chinese Food Made Easy" that I had until then most wanted to try.

The aforementioned "Chinese Food Made Easy" is apparently the second book written by Ching-He Huang, who works for the BBC hosting shows. I've had the book for some time, and it's really quite good... provided you can get the ingredients. Unfortunately, she does have a nasty habit of calling for some fairly obscure things that aren't easily sourced at the big Tesco in Falkirk.

Anyway, this was not the case with the Sechuan Orange Beef, which required nothing more obscure than an orange. Which proved to be easily identifiable in Tesco, by virtue of its colour. The cooking process was similarly easy - throw together a quick marinade for the beef, then cook the beef for a few minutes, cook the mushrooms, and serve with rice. Done!

The results were very impressive. Like the Teriyaki chicken of last week, this meal had a somewhat unusual taste, caused by the combination of meat and fruit. Still, it was very nice, and I can definitely see me making this again.

Please, no more...

2012-02-15T12:18:00.001Z

Apparently, there's going to be a "Transformers 4". Also, it's apparently going to be a reboot of the series, presumably to allow them to rehash the origin story again, because that's really what we need.

Or maybe not. Because apparently Michael Bay has been signed on to direct. And although there is going to be a significantly different cast, Bumblebee and Optimus Prime will still be showing up (but will they be redesigned for the new movies?). Frankly, it all sounds like a bit of a mess.

But, you know what?

I don't care. "Dark of the Moon" has managed to do something that I didn't believe possible - it has killed any interest I have in ever seeing another Transformers movie. Please, just stop.

Oh no!

2012-02-13T09:01:00.001Z

I was an early adopter of DVD, and actually still have (and use) my original DVD player. It was a very high quality model... back in 1999. And, of course, I had it modified to play discs from all regions.

With our recent TV upgrade, and with the acquisition of the Playstation 3, that DVD player is now obselete. Playback through the PS3 is much better quality, due to the upscaling. And, actually, playback from the DVD player just doesn't look great on the bigger screen. Plus, there aren't any spare connectors on the TV or the surround sound amplifier, which means that even using the DVD player is a bit of a pain.

Unfortunately, the PS3 won't play region 1 DVDs.

I had thought that that would be fine. Over the years, the studios gradually developed some good sense, and synchronised release dates across regions 1 and 2. Meanwhile, the BBFC gave up all pretense of actually doing their job, and started just aping the US ratings/cuts. This meant that there ceased to be any particular incentive to buy region 1 DVDs, and so relatively few of my DVDs are region 1. So, I could gradually let the DVD player slide into obscurity, and it wouldn't be an issue.

But...

Yesterday I decided that I would quite like to watch "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" again, only to discover that it is a region 1 disc. As is "Aliens". And "Terminator 2" (the "Ultimate Edition", no less... although there's been at least one more since), and "Highlander". The "South Park" movie is region 1, being the very first DVD I bought. So too, actually, are most of my "Transformers" DVDs.

Even worse than this, there are even a few DVDs that were either simply not ever released in region 2 (although, actually, I think "The Gamers" may be region-free), or have since been deleted and so cannot be replaced (the "Babylon 5" movie collection).

It turns out that although I have relatively few region 1 DVDs as a percentage of the whole, I do have a disproportionate number of good films on region 1 DVD. Individually, none of them really warrants being re-bought on blu-ray (or region 2 DVD)... but collectively, they represent quite a nasty loss.

Experimental Cookery 2012: Quick Brown Sugar and Spring Onion Chicken Teriyaki

2012-02-13T08:45:00.001Z

Yes, I've changed the format of these posts, abandoning all of the so-called 'improvements' I made last year. It turned out that they were nothing of the sort - they just made the posts annoying and awkward to write.

This recipe was taken from Lorraine Pascale's "Home Cooking Made Easy". In the blurb at the start of the page, she advises getting all the ingredients ready before starting to cook; this is definitely a wise move, because although there isn't a lot involved in the process, once it's begun it's a sprint to the end, and you won't have time to dice, chop, grate, or otherwise ready the ingredients for the next step.

Truth be told, this meal is almost ridiculously easy to prepare. Once the ingredients are all to hand, it's just a case of adding them all to the pan at the appropriate times, giving them the occasional stir, and waiting.

And the results were very impressive. Both Lady Chocolat and I managed to avoid food poisoning, it tasted very nice, and was quite different from other chicken dishes I've had in the past. That said, with so much sugar being called for in the recipe, I can't imagine it was very good for us!

The one refinement I would make to this, if I were to do it again, would simply be to reduce the heat at which I cooked the chicken. But that's my issue, rather than one with the book - the cooking times given in the book seemed awfully short, and combined with a very high heat they left the chicken a bit tougher than it should have been.

Still, all in all I can highly recommend this one.

Dear cinema-goers...

2012-02-12T14:44:00.002Z

Cheering and clapping at the end of a movie is an American trait. Being British, the protocol we are supposed to execute at the end of a film is to glumly file towards the exits.

If the film was particularly enjoyable, it may be considered acceptable to quietly remark on this fact to the person on either side, although this it typically best done using Facebook, Twitter, or other social media.

But the scenes of Friday night were quite unseemly, and rather let the side down.

(Yes, "The Muppets Movie" was really very funny in places. I rather enjoyed it. Indeed, it is now Jack Black's second-best movie, after only "School of Rock".)

#7: "Pathfinder: Tide of Honour", by Tito Leati

Prayer at Council Meetings

2012-02-12T11:36:00.002Z

So, the Secular Society have managed to have a ban imposed on prayers being offered at council meetings in England and Wales, and now have councils in Scotland in their sights.

Bluntly, the simple fact that it was the Secular Society that brought this case was reason enough to tell them to sod off. Now, if it was someone who was actually participating that those meetings, that would be another thing, but this case was brought by fundamentalists specifically to cause trouble - and that should not be humoured.

And besides, the judge got it wrong - in this country we do not have any official separation of church and state. On the contrary, we have an official state religion. That being the case, offering prayers is not, in fact, inappropriate.

Now, having said that, we do live in a pluralistic society, and I have in the past noted that it is the job of our government (local and national) to operate in the interest of all the people, not just those we happen to agree with. So, that does raise the question: should prayers be offered at council meetings?

And the answer, actually, is "no, not in an official capacity". And it's that 'official capacity' that is rather important.

See, it comes down to the order of events. If the meeting is called to order and then the first item on the agenda is prayers, this effectively means that anyone attending the meeting is expected to be present for those prayers. In effect, those prayers are being imposed on council employees who have the right to believe differently (or not at all). Which genuinely isn't right.

On the other hand, if the prayers are offered first and then the meeting is called to order, then it's a different matter: that's just a bunch of council employees who happen to be in one of the council rooms holding prayers. There is no obligation on others to join, and they're not disrupting anything. (And the counter-argument "they should be working" doesn't work... find me a council employee who spends 100% of their working day on-task, without a single off-topic conversation, dealing with a non-work email, or other distraction. Hell, find me any employee anywhere in the country of whom that is true.)

In any case, holding prayers as the first item in the meeting (official or otherwise) is actually a really efficient use of time. As anyone who has to attend staff meetings, or review meetings, or, really, any kind of meeting can tell you, the moment you schedule a meeting to be attended by more than one person, you lose any hope of it starting on time. There is always someone who is late. Always.

So, schedule your meeting for 2 (say). Start the prayers at 2, sharp. And then, at five minutes past, when people are actually ready to start, call the meeting to order.

Et voila! The prayers are in for those who want them, the people who don't want them have an easy opt-out, and the time that otherwise would have been wasted (and it would, to pretend otherwise is a lie) has been used productively.

Done.

Should the England Manager be English?

2012-02-10T10:37:00.000Z

Ah, a question that vexes the media every time a new England manager must be appointed. (We have similar discussions in Scotland, muted somewhat by the fact that we tend not to care very much. And I daresay other nations have similar considerations.)

Firstly, I should probably note that I have very little doubt that the next England manager will, indeed, by English. Basically, for the FA to go for anyone other than Harry Redknapp, after the failures of the Capello regime, would be too much of a risk - the only reasons I can see this not happening is if Harry doesn't want the job or if Spurs are unreasonable.

However, in general, should the manager of England be English?

Well, as things stand, the answer is "not necessarily". The job of the England manager is to deliver success on the pitch, as reflected in the winning of major trophies. The job of the FA is to find and appoint the person best able to do so. And it would be foolish, under those circumstances, to do anything other than look at all the options.

The perfect candidate for the job would seem to be someone who is English, who has strong communication skills, with excellent man-management and tactical awareness, and with a proven track record of management in several different leagues (ideally including the English and Spanish leagues - currently the two best in the world).

Of these qualities, "being English" is the least valuable. Frankly, they should go get Jose Mourinho.

However...

I'm more or less convinced that the actual answer to the question is "yes, of course the manager of England should be English".

Here's the thing: international football is not about who has the best players, necessarily; it is about who has the best team. And it's really hard to argue that the manager isn't a very large part of that - how can you argue that Alex Ferguson hasn't had a massive impact at Manchester United, or that Martin O'Neill hasn't had a huge impact at Sunderland (even when using the exact same players who were underperforming before)? The manager is hugely important, probably at least as important as any single player.

To that end, I'm inclined to think that the rules should be changed - that the manager (and anyone else with access to the dressing room and/or dugout) should have to follow the same eligibility rules as the players.

But that's a consideration for a slightly different world. As with so many things, the FA should be working to the rules as they are now, and not artificially restricting themselves to only English managers if better candidates are available.

The Lake House

2012-02-09T11:03:00.001Z

We watched "The Lake House" last night. Dear me, it is a terrible film.

Now, to be honest, it was always off to a rough start. Firstly, it stars Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

Now, Keanu Reeves is a bad actor, but he has been in some good films: "Speed", "The Devil's Advocate", "The Matrix" (and perhaps the full trilogy). I also liked "Through a Scanner Darkly", though that was only sort-of him. Oh, and of course the "Bill and Ted" epics. But those are pretty rare in a career of mediocre films. (In fact, he's worse off that even Arnold Swartzenegger, who is also a bad actor, even worse than Keanu in fact, but who somehow has found a knack of appearing in a lot of good films.) Still, it could be worse - it could be Patrick Dempsey.

And Sandra Bullock also also a bad actor. She has also been in some good films: "Speed", "Demolition Man", and... um... Still, it could be worse - it could be, um, Eva Longoria? Sarah Jessica Parker? Jennifer Lopez?

So, put the two together, and it appears that you need a speeding bus to save matters. Funnily enough, there is a bus in "The Lake House", but...

Actually, even before getting to a discussing the stars, perhaps we should rewind one step further: it's a romance. Not a "romantic comedy", but a straight-up romance. Which isn't too bad - dropping the so-called 'comedy' generally improves matters. But still, it's not a good sign - give me a good action movie, or horror movie, or comedy, or drama, and I'll be happier. I don't mind romance, and actually like well-done romances, but they're not my favourite.

Anyway, onwards...

So, the plot revolves around a magical mailbox, that allows the two-way transfer of letters across two years. Exciting! And so, K&S 'meet', and exchange a whole bunch of letters, and they go on walks 'virtually' together, and stuff. Aw, cute!

With one small problem. See, movies need dialogue. And when the two main characters don't meet, how do you deal with that?

Well, "The Lake House" works out a clever and interesting way to resolve this: it completely ignores it. So, our two characters, who communicate only by letter, have carefully interleaved dialogue by the magic of split-screen.

Which, of course, makes no sense at all. Perhaps they should have chosen a different communication method - the superior "Frequency" makes use of magic short-wave radios, perhaps "The Lake House" could have had a magic Bluetooth headset, or internet chatroom, or similar?

Anyway, never mind. The plot unfolds, and it quickly becomes apparent that tragedy is looming. They agree to meet in the future, but Keanu stands Sandra up (the cad!). Something must have gone horribly wrong!

And this is the point where the film departs from all sanity. At this point, Sandra decides to call the whole thing off. They failed at the very first hurdle; it's obviously not to be. Never mind that there could be hundreds of reasons for him not showing.

But, actually, it's sillier than that. See, we have these things called telephones. So, rather than simply calling things off, she should instead have said, "here's my number; call me." Done.

Oh well, never mind, it's film logic.

So, she stops writing to him, and the plot continues to unfold. There then follows a scene in the 'past' in which he comments that he "has to find her".

Now, let's apply just a moment's thought here. He stayed in the lakehouse before renting it out to her. She then stayed in the lakehouse for quite some time. Shortly after she left, they made contact. But, in any case, he has her forwarding address.

Hmm, how will he find her? Shall he (a) go visit her at the lakehouse, where she now lives, or (b) wait until she's left the lakehouse, and then go visit her there? If only there were some way for him to find her!

("But she'll think he's a crazy stalker!" you say. That's fair enough, except for two small details: firstly, he's already shown, earlier in the film, that he is smart enough not to freak her out with time-travel nonsense. Secondly, if he absolutely can't do that, he has proof. "Go look in that box in the attic. See all those letters, written in your handwriting?")

But, anyway, he doesn't do this. Instead, he waits until the one date where he knows exactly where she will be - on Valentine's Day she will be in a particular square when an unknown man dies in her arms, thus prompting this whole adventure. So, off he rushes to that square, and a date with a speeding bus.

Again, what?

Now, true, there's no way he could have known that the "unknown man" would be him. After all, the odds are stacked strongly against it. But then, if you know something has gone horribly wrong, and you know there's a speeding bus, why would you go to the one place you know holds risk, especially when you know where she will be on every single other day in the calendar, since you have her address?

Anyway, it all turns out okay. See, in the future, Sandra realises that the unknown man was him (apparently, despite being devastated by the death of the unknown man, that kicked off this whole adventure, she never bothered to find out his name previously...). So, she rushes out to the lakehouse with one final letter, warning him off. And they all live happily ever after...

So, we have at least two paradoxes:

- Firstly, the death of the unknown man sends Sandra back to the lakehouse, where she first discoveres the magic mailbox, and kicks off the whole adventure. But now, the unknown man never dies, so she doesn't go, so...

- Secondly, Keanu misses their planned date because he died at the square. But, because he misses the date, Sandra calls the whole thing off. This prompts Keanu to rush off to the square to become the unknown man.

I dunno, maybe I'm being too harsh and over-thinking the film. After all, they get to the kiss at the end, right? And that's all that matters, isn't it - the happy ending?

Oh, yeah, I forgot one more thing - Sandra's other boyfriend is a nice(ish) lawyer type, who basically does no wrong during the whole film. He's just a bit dull. And he puts up with a lot - there's the time she kisses another guy at the surprise party that her boyfriend has organised for her (yay!), then he becomes the "consolation prize" once she decides Keanu is a non-starter, and then he gets dumped again for this same guy.

Still, happy endings all round, right?

Ted Mosby was Wrong

2012-02-09T10:09:00.000Z

The Rebels determine the flaw in the Death Star by analysing the plans. That is, the flaw appears in the design, not the implementation.

Ted Mosby was wrong - it was the architect's fault, not the contractor's.

(And, yes, I'm aware that I'm responding to a drunken argument made by a fictional character about a fictional device in a fictional universe. I'm just not sure I care.)

Fab

2012-02-09T09:52:00.001Z

I must admit, I didn't see it coming. I had thought that Fabio Capello would simply go through the motions for the remainder of his contract, see the team through a lacklustre Euros competition, and walk away rich, and on to some other high-profile job. I could just about see the FA sacking him, as he was pretty clearly just marking the time, but I really didn't see him resigning.

Perhaps there was some deal struck behind closed doors?

Anyway, this is probably good news for England. They can now either appoint Harry Redknapp (it must be him, surely?) as their new coach, or appoint an interim manager until Harry is freed up to take the job on full time. Either way, they can then spend the next several months talking about a 'crisis', a 'short term solution', or whatever else they need to do to lower expectations at the Euros. (Which should reduce pressure on the players, and might therefore enable them to actually play to their capabilities.)

Then, if they do well at the Euros, they can hail the genius of their new manager, or players "playing out of their skins", or whatever. If they do poorly, they can blame it all on the previous regime, comment on the less-than-ideal timing, and talk about "building for the future". It's a no-lose situation.

Basically, this is a good thing for England, and can only help them going forward. Plus, given the result of Redknapp's trial yesterday, the timing really couldn't be much better.

Shame about Capello, though. You would have thought he should have been able to do better. But he just seemed to lose all interest in the job after the World Cup. Which is a shame - the performance at the World Cup was really surprising in how badly it compared with qualifying, and despite that England only lost to a Germany side who were one of the outstanding sides in the tournament. I would have thought he should have had the wherewithal to correct the mistakes and go forward.

Incidentally, I happen to agree with Capello over the Terry thing. If he was to be stripped of the captaincy, surely that was a matter for the manager to decide? After all, the captain is supposed to be the leader on the field, which makes it a footballing matter. Plus, I'm not at all convinced there's actually a better alternative out there. That is, after all, why he was (wrongly) given the captaincy back in the first place.

Follow-up to my Previous Post

2012-02-09T09:15:00.002Z

Obviously, if I'm doing a calculation based on the circumstances, and those circumstances change, the outcome will change also.

Both this week and next week, for example, the Tesco shop has moved to Sunday, as I have a limited-time voucher that is good for £5 off my bill. Likewise, I will be attempting to handle the cleaning of the bathroom this Sunday, as Tuesday is Valentine's Day. (And while I could readily move it back to Wednesday, moving it forward to Sunday will make for a much more pleasant Tuesday, will it not?)

And, of course, after April anything and everything may change.

Why Monday is Tesco-day

2012-02-08T13:06:00.002Z

Each week, I go to Tesco on Monday evening, on my way home from band. I clean some section of the appartment on Tuesday evening (on a four-week cycle, so it all gets done once a month). And I do my washing on a Thursday.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't do these things at those times each week because I am "set in my ways". There is, in fact, a good reason why these tasks get done when they do.

The reason for doing the weekly shop when I do is a simple matter of geography. Tesco lies rather neatly between the appartment and the school where practice takes place. It is open 24 hours, and is nice and quiet later in the evenings. So, I can go in, do what needs to be done nice and quickly, and get out. And, since it's en route, I can do this without expending any more petrol than I already would. It's just efficient, in terms of time, money, and environmental impact. Genius!

My thinking on the other two tasks is slightly more involved, but bluntly it comes down to this: I don't want to have to do these chores on the weekend. I want to spend my weekends doing things I'll actually enjoy, and that list does not include washing, ironing, or cleaning. So, since they're not going to be done at the weekend, this leaves four possible times, being Monday through Thursday evenings. (Friday evening is part of the weekend, so is discounted.)

Monday is unavailable, of course, since I'm at band and then doing the Tesco shop.

Thursday evening is likewise mostly tied up with band, giving just a little time before and a bit more time after. But after band I definitely don't want to be getting in to any big tasks, nor do I want to be generating a lot of noise. So, cleaning is not an option, both for the effort required and because of the hoovering (on three of the four weeks). But doing the washing is actually an ideal task for this time, since it involves a few small bits of work with lots of waiting before. So, I put one load on before I head out to work or between work and band, then a second load immediately after getting home for band, and then the third load after I've made ready for bed. It all fits very, very neatly into the allocated time. (And, on those weeks where there is ironing to do, this also fits neatly into the time when the second load is washing - ironing lags behind the washing by a week, but that's fine since I have plenty of clothes.)

That leaves the cleaning, and both Tuesday and Wednesday evenings. In truth, either would be absolutely fine for this purpose. And, indeed, when I have a game on on Tuesdays the cleaning is moved to another day. But when it is not, Tuesday gets the preference. Why? Well, for one simple reason: Lady Chocolat is otherwise engaged on Tuesday but we frequently see one another on Wednesdays. So, I make use of the 'dead' time to dispatch a task that needs to be done.

(Also, the band committee meetings take place on one Tuesday of the month. These last just long enough to render the evening not much fun, but also leave just enough time to fit the cleaning in to what remains. Again, very neat.)

Yes, this means that it's a routine, and it means that I can rattle off what I'm doing on any given day some months in advance. But so what? This way, all the tasks that must be done get done, and they're timed so that they have the absolute minimum impact on the things that I want to do. I'm at something of a loss as to how that could possibly be described as a bad thing.

One Final Post on Birdsong

2012-02-07T13:59:00.001Z

Yeah, go read the book.

The second part of "Birdsong" is pretty much just as good as the first - it's well made, it's decently acted, and it's really quite surprising what they can do on a TV budget these days. I don't really have any complaints, mostly. But...

The book is just better.

Right, I'm now about to delve into spoilers. So, if you haven't seen the show or read the book, and don't want to know, skip the rest of the post. Other than noting another completed book, there's nothing more here for you.

The big problem with "Birdsong" on TV comes close to the end. See, one of the key points in the story is that Stephen, our hero, is noted as being scared of being underground, scared of birds, and yet he finds himself forced underground by the circumstances of the war. And, near the end of the book he finds himself trapped deep underground by an explosion.

Now, as I mentioned in an earlier post, the key feature of being underground that most of us don't truly appreciate, is that it is not dark down there; it is DARK down there. And, in the specific context in the novel it is also cramped, and narrow, and deeply scary and unsettling.

But TV and films have real problems with representing darkness. This is hardly surprising, since they're visual media, and if you can't show something, you have problems.

And so, in the second part of "Birdsong", when Stephen finds himself trapped underground, everything is strangely lit up with an ambient grey light. He has no problems moving around, and although the actor tries really hard, there's just no sense that he's trapped, and terrified, and desperate. "What larks!" as a character from another book would say.

I also take a little exception that they short-changed the ending a little. In both the book and the adaptation, Stephen finds himself trapped and decides to set off another explosion to try to win his freedom. Fair enough - desperate situations sometimes require desperate measures.

In the adaptation, this desperate plan works. Stephen is able to climb his way to freedom, comes out in a pit, and nearly picks a fight with some Germans before learning that the war is over.

In the novel, on the other hand, his plan doesn't work. Instead, he neatly brings the tunnel down on himself even further, trapping him for several more hours, almost completely immobilised. All he can do is make some small, feeble noise...

Noise which is heard by a squad of German tunnellers who think it may be being made by one of their own (actually, the brother of one of the tunnellers, and a man Stephen has actually shot dead some pages earlier). They dig through, and rescue him. It's a deeper level of desperation than the adaptation manages.

Anyway, that's "Birdsong". Definitely the best of the three adaptations I watched this winter, but still lacking when compared with the book. And, seriously, go read the book. It's good.

#6: "Mutants & Masterminds 2nd Edition", by Steve Kenson

Season's End?

2012-02-06T10:09:00.001Z

So, Rangers were knocked out of the Scottish Cup yesterday. I didn't really see that one coming, although perhaps I should have.

And with that, it really looks like the season is over. See, it wasn't just them getting knocked out that was important; that was just one match and not really all that important. But the manner of the defeat was really quite shocking. Bluntly, Rangers deserved to be beaten, were lucky to lose only 2-0, and were made to look frankly ordinary by a Dundee United team who played well but who are, also frankly, not particularly strong themselves.

So, Rangers have now been knocked out of four competitions since the start of the season. They are a point behind in the league, with Celtic having a game in hand. They've allowed Celtic to close a very large gap in the last couple of months. They've sold their top goalscorer (and best player), while their next top scorer is injured. And they're playing really badly.

Surely Celtic can't fail to win the league from this position?

From Rangers' point of view, there are two questionable bright sides to all of this. On the field, they are now in a position where the only thing they have to worry about is the league. There are no cup matches to worry about, so they will have at least some opportunity to rest their players. Given the size of the squad, that should be welcomed. And, likewise, now that the transfer window has closed, there's no longer a risk of losing the few top players who remain.

Off the field, there was something of a scandal broke last week about loans taken out on future season ticket sales. Between that and the sale of players, it looked like Rangers should have vast reserves of money available to strengthen the squad, and yet... nothing. However, that looks to me like the owner is probably in the process of building a large financial cushion for the club. If they lose the ongoing tax case, that money may well prove to be enough to prevent administration. If they win (or lose, but not badly), it would of course put them in a great position for next year.

There's a lot of anger amongst Rangers fans at the moment, but that looks like it could actually be an upside - yes, they've sold the season (and perhaps the next few), but if it secures the future of the club then surely that's worth it?

Better than I Thought

2012-02-06T09:53:00.001Z

Given the surprising lack of a repeat, I made time to watch the first part of Birdsong on iPlayer before it expired. I still have the second part on my Sky+ box waiting to be watched.

The experience proved to be much as I had expected - several times during the show the system stopped while it buffered the next few minutes for viewing. And, somewhat surprisingly, putting it on pause for several minutes didn't help. It seems that iPlayer doesn't buffer any more than a few moments in advance.

But my absolute favourite moment was when, close to the end, just as we were getting to the climactic events that would set up the second part... the system declared that I didn't have the bandwidth to continue streaming, and just stopped. Yay!

In the event, I just reloaded the page, started viewing again, and skipped to the same point as before, so it wasn't a huge hardship. It was something of a pain, though.

As for the show itself, I rather enjoyed it. I certainly didn't have any difficulties hearing the dialogue; I'm not quite sure what all the complaints about 'mumbling' were all about. It certainly seemed to be a rather closer adaptation than either "Great Expectations" or "Treasure Island", which was good. Though I think I would still recommend reading the novel instead.

Ah, who am I kidding?

2012-02-04T18:51:00.003Z

On Friday, being a little bored, I looked up the Star Wars blu-rays on Amazon. Apparently, they cost £43 for the set of all six films. (There are sets for each of the two trilogies, but that's just inefficient.)

But George Lucas has messed around with them yet again, adding a new girly shriek for Darth Vader in RotJ. And besides, I already own two copies of the Holy Trilogy on DVD - do I really need a third?

But, honestly, who am I kidding. Of course I'm going to get them on blu-ray, just as I am of course going to re-buy the Lord of the Rings trilogy on blu-ray (Extended Editions only, of course).

Even angrier...

2012-02-04T18:43:00.002Z

I got an exciting telesales call this afternoon. It started innocuously enough, just a "survey". As soon as the guy started asking if I wanted to be phoned with some offer or other, though... beeep!

Oh yes, the new policy was working well.

Except that he called back promptly. He swore blind that this wasn't a telesales call - would I please continue.

Anyway, we proceeded with his 'survey', since that seemed the best way to get rid of him, right up until the end when he needed to confirm my first name. Could I please tell him? No, he didn't quite get that, could I try again? Could I spell it? He was really sorry, he just couldn't make it out...

At this point I really lost interest, and told him so. I then hung up again...

A moment later, the phone rang again. This time, it was Amil, the supervisor. He was terribly sorry, but the original guy was new, and...

I cut him off at this point. I stated that I didn't mind that the guy was new, but I had absolutely no intention of continuing the conversation....

Amil came back, protesting further...

"I'm done with this conversation. Do not call back." And I hung up again.

Unbelievably, the phone rang again. Amil started to speak...

"We're done!" I snarled, and hung up. For good measure, I proceeded to unplug the house phone.

So, if you're thinking of contacting me, my mobile is the best way for the time being.

Bastards. (No, not you.)

Angry

2012-02-02T18:16:00.002Z

I really should learn - absolutely any time a telesales person phones, no matter who it is or what the offer, I should just hang up. No mess, no listening out of politeness. The moment they mention a product, service, or whatever.... beeeeeep!

Tonight's offender are Virgin Media, from whom I've been getting my broadband for some years (and quite happily, too, I should add). On the 19th, I received a call from one of their agents - would I like to pay less for vastly upgraded bandwidth?

Well, yes, I thought, I would quite like that. But, on the other hand, the one thing I most certainly didn't want was any disruption to my service, so...

Anyway, he insisted on putting in an appointment for the installation, just to secure it. (Yeah, right.) And then we got to discussing things.

Then things went crazy, and I had to ask him to phone back. He agreed... and then didn't.

On Monday, I received a call from the engineer, wanting to come do an installation. At this point in time, I was feeling awful - I was actually at home, having taken the day off work, but I didn't want to bother. Besides, I'd not yet received the contract; no, he couldn't come.

They then rebooked me for the 8th, despite me telling them not to do so - I hadn't received the contract, so couldn't agree to an installation. Besides, by then I had decided to cancel, since I wasn't up for the hassle.

The contract arrived today, dated from the 19th (!). The prices on the contract were different from those quoted on the phone (!!). And the contract noted a 7-day cooling off period... from the date when the "order was placed" (that is, the 26th !!!).

Needless to say, I'm not happy about that. I've since phoned and cancelled. Slightly surprisingly, they didn't put up any fight. So, that's okay.

Of course, the next thing is that they'll switch off my existing broadband service. I can practically sense the instruction making its way over to BT OpenReach... (Which would be typical. The one thing that I absolutely did not want, and can't really handle at this stage...) Of course, I might be wrong.

The moral of the story: beeeep!

I Should Drive a Taxi

2012-02-02T12:16:00.001Z

Last night I was made aware of the stunning similarities between "having a blog" and "driving a taxi". It was something of an eye-opener, to say the least.

My absolute favourite, though, was when our driver said that he would make it a requirement for anyone coming here to live that they be able to speak "fluid English".

Ill

2012-02-02T10:12:00.000Z

Yes, I've been away. I've been feeling pretty rotten the last few days, and haven't really been able to muster much enthusiasm for blogging. I'm still not at my best, but am feeling considerably better.

Fred Goodwin

2012-02-02T09:21:00.000Z

Whenever there's a political or economic scandal, there's a game I quite like to play called "spot the scapegoat". In general, I've found that the powers-that-be will try really hard to identify a single individual, make them the villain of the piece, shift all of the public's anger onto that one person, and then try to "draw a line under the issue".

With the scandal over MPs expenses, the nominated scapegoat was Jacqui Smith. Because she was already very unpopular, and because her offenses made for a good story, she was thrown to the wolves. And fair enough - I'm not suggesting for a moment that she didn't do wrong. But was she really any worse than any other MP? And yet, can you name any other MP that was named and shamed as a result of this? The guy with the moat? The three MPs who were actually charged?

With the banking crisis, the nominated scapegoat is Fred Goodwin. Again, I'm not in any way defending his actions, or suggesting he should not have been stripped of his knighthood. But when the media is busy reporting on this shocking (and, frankly, irrelevant) event, and when we have another round of "why did he keep his pension" over the next few weeks, I have to ask: what are they using that media storm to conceal?

Kermit or Yoda: There Can Be Only One!

2012-01-29T14:11:00.002Z

Last time we went to the cinema, Lady Chocolat and I were treated to the trailer for "The Phantom Menace" in 3D. And I know it's a bad film. I know this. And yet, I really want to go and see it again. Grr.

However, TPM reaches cinemas on the 9th of February, and the new Muppets film hits on the 10th. And I definitely want to go see that.

But I probably can't go see both. What to do, what to do...?

Loss of Enthusiasm

2012-01-29T13:51:00.002Z

For the first couple of weeks since the announcement of 5th Edition, I was actually really quite enthusiastic as to what was happening. It seemed like they were avoiding making the same mistakes again, there was a definite sense that the community was coming together, and it was all good.

This weekend was the D&D Experience convention in the States when we got our first look at what the new game might actually hold... and suddenly I find myself cold on the idea. It's starting to look like they're in the process of making a whole new bunch of mistakes.

Part of the problem is that I have some very clear ideas on how the game should be structured, and while I'm not absolutely insistent that that is the way it must be, I do have good reasons for those opinions - when they go in the exact opposite directions, it doesn't give any confidence that I'll like the destination.

Plus, they're in the difficult position that I have a game that does 90% of what I want already, in 3rd Edition. There are sufficient glaring weaknesses (and those weaknesses are sufficiently bad) for me to be interested in a new edition. But any new edition needs to be significantly better than what I have for me to consider switching. It's not enough for it to just fix the problems, if in doing so it introduces a new batch of flaws.

Shame. I was having fun looking forward to the new game, too.

Sanctum, and Building a Better Adventure

2012-01-26T14:05:00.001Z

Fresh from not watching "Birdsong", I instead watched the film "Sanctum" on Tuesday (and "Star Wars" yesterday, but that's not important right now). It was a good film, far better than I had expected, although not as good as "The Descent".

What particularly interested me about the film, though, was its application to D&D, and in particular to dungeon adventures.

The basic concept of a D&D adventure is pretty simple: a group of adventurers head down into a dungeon (or cave system, or ruined castle, or whatever), kill a bunch of monsters, and take their stuff. (There's more to it than that, of course, or I wouldn't still be playing after nearly 23 years, but that's the basic form.)

And, as far as the location is concerned, that's about it - it's a 'dungeon', or 'some caves', or 'a ruined castle', or 'whatever'. Basically, it's just a place, just as 'a school' is a place, 'Tesco' is a place, or 'a football stadium' is a place. That is, it's entirely mundane, a necessary setting for more important things, but largely trivial itself.

But in both "The Descent" and "Sanctum" (also the generally-poor "Vertical Limit", and indeed much of "Lord of the Rings"), there's a lot more to it than that. It's not just a location, it's an alien and hostile location, full of many dangers and snares, and that is utterly unforgiving to those who aren't prepared and/or skilled. If you mess around down there, you are going to die.

That's something I've been musing on quite a lot recently, and something I think the game is lacking in it's most recent incarnations (and perhaps all incarnations).

Several years ago, I went to visit CJ in the States, and while there I took the opportunity to head over to Arkansas to visit an old friend. While I was there, said friend's father-in-law took us out to a cave system. (Where I bought my t-shirt with frogs on.)

The experience was something of an eye-opener. It was incredibly dark. What light there was played tricks on us, such that perspectives were useless. The colours were amazing, and bizarre, and alien. It was oddly warm, and there was very little movement in the air. And there were bats.

And that was a safe dungeon-crawl. Throw in some tight tunnels, flooding water, sheer climbs, and the like, and you've already got an adventure. Heck, you don't even really need monsters!

I don't really have a fix for this. Except perhaps to note that I'm becoming increasingly convinced that D&D adventures, by default, should be set in actively hostile environments. This ties into the "Mythic Underworld" that I discussed some days ago - the characters haven't just ventured into 'some caves' - they've stepped into a realm possessed of a malign spirit that will do them harm if it can.

And all that from an okay-but-not-great film.

No Birdsong

2012-01-26T13:47:00.001Z

I was rather annoyed with myself on Sunday when I realised that I'd forgotten to record the first episode of "Birdsong".

No matter, I thought, I would just catch it when it was repeated. But no such luck - apparently, it's not going to be repeated any time soon. I can watch it on iPlayer if I want (provided I don't mind the constant...

... buffering ...

... buffering ...

... buffering ...

delays while it buffers the next bit), for the next 10 days. But the BBC are too busy making sure "Eastenders" is repeated sufficiently. Never mind that "Birdsong" cost them many times as much to make.

Grr.

Oh, and one more thing. I learned in the Radio Times that "Birdsong" is a set text in schools, not just English (which is entirely sensible), but also in History.

Are they insane?

Here's a handy clue: "Birdsong" is fiction. It's well-written fiction, and well-researched fiction, but it is fiction nonetheless. And, indeed, while some fictions may well be of historic significance, the reason for this is that they were written at, or close to, the time by people who were actually there.

"Birdsong" has no more place being taught in a History class than Creationism does being taught in a Science class.

A very short rant (and then a longer one)

2012-01-25T11:31:00.000Z

Apparently, the majority of recipients of housing benefit* are actually already in work. This leads me to a very short rant:

If rents are such that people can be working full-time and still require housing benefit, this means that either wages are too low, or rents are too high, or (most likely) both.

(That was the very short rant. And now, here's a slightly longer one...)

Honestly, a benefits cap per family is a good thing. And placing the cap at the average household earnings is, if anything, overly generous. But it doesn't work in isolation if (as is the case) people who need to live in London for their jobs cannot afford to live in London without those benefits.

(In fact, I'm inclined to think that there should be no such thing as housing benefit. Instead, those who aren't working, for whatever reason, should be given a much higher general benefit (and expected to live on that), while wages and rents/mortgages should be placed so that those in work don't need benefits to top up. As things stand, the government is essentially subsidising lots of landlords who are charging too-high rents.)

* Or whatever it's actually called.

Ouch!

2012-01-24T10:41:00.000Z

I twisted my neck this morning, and now it hurts. Not the best possible start to the day.

Still, things are actually a lot better now than they have been. The honeymoon is booked and paid for (as mentioned previously). There was a small issue with getting one of their special offers, but it turned out to be a communications problem, and is now resolved. (But you did not want to be around me on Saturday morning while that problem was ongoing. My poor cactus had to suffer some spectacularly bad language.)

I confirmed last night that the bag on my bagpipes is indeed burst, this being the eighth (or more) time this has happened. The band have been trying out a new bag design, but it's obviously not suitable for my use. I'm not sure why. Anyway, although this may seem like a bad thing, it is actually rather a relief, since it explains the problems I was having last week.

The day invitations for the wedding are now written (with one exception), and should be going out very soon. This leaves the evening invitations as the largest outstanding task, and then there are a bunch of details that need locked down. But, suddenly, it looks like things are coming together, and I may actually be able to enjoy the next 80ish days.

My D&D campaign "The Eberron Code" is on hiatus until after the wedding. I rather miss playing, although I knew I didn't have time to run it during these months. This does give me some time to marshall my thoughts for the next section of the campaign. Additionally, I have a one-off game coming up next month: "Star Wars: Through a Glass Darkly". That should be fun.

The Saturday game hasn't resumed since Christmas. All being well, we'll be meeting up on Saturday, although this is looking increasingly unlikely. I'm still estimating two more sessions between now and the start of April.

In order to reach 999 posts by the 11th of April, I will need to write two posts a day, pretty much every day. This seems extremely unlikely. Surely I don't have enough nonsense to talk about between now and then?

Awesome! or Ridiculous!

2012-01-21T11:12:00.002Z

For Christmas I got a copy of the Haynes Technical Manual for the "Millennium Falcon", and I honestly can't decide if this is awesome or ridiculous. On the one hand, it's a technical manual for an entirely fictional spaceship. On the other hand, it's perhaps the single greatest thing since they released the original Transformers series on DVD. (Because Optimus Prime trumps even Star Wars...)

Anyway, I've since read it. It was fun.

#5: "Millennium Falcon Owner's Workshop Manual", by Ryder Windham, Chris Reiff, and Chris Trevas

Mexico!

2012-01-21T11:06:00.002Z

Well, the honeymoon is booked. As the title of this post implies, we're off to Mexico for two weeks. Hopefully, it should be a good (and especially relaxing) time. Huzzah!

I did have a small bone to pick with First Choice, though. While booking on their site, it declared we could pay a low deposit of only £150 per person. This was excellent - with all the bills coming up, being able to stagger the payments was a big plus.

Until we got past that screen, and discovered that the balance needed to be paid by today! I must admit to being at something of a loss on the benefits of this - how does it benefit me to pay a low deposit on Wednesday, when I then have to pay the rest of the money four days later? Surely, on that timescale I either have the money or I don't, so might as well just pay everything all at once?

But other than that, everything's great. Now we just need to get ourselves down to Manchester to catch our plane out...

The Cuts Get Personal

2012-01-19T12:51:00.001Z

I find the concept of the leap second quite interesting. It's a small adjustment, similar to the extra day in a leap year, used to adjust the time, as calculated by watching the sun rise, so it matches the time, calculated using an atomic measure.

Apparently, there's a discussion underway about abolishing the leap second entirely. The US (amongst others) want this done because every time there's a leap second they have to adjust the clocks on all their radio masts and the like. (Presumably, the assumption is that they're exactly and entirely accurate otherwise... perhaps someone should have spoken to an engineer before bringing that one up.)

Honestly, it really doesn't matter all that much. A second here or there? Who cares? Apparently, in about 550 years, the drift between the two will be about an hour, but that's far enough away that we'll have moved to the stars by then anyway. Or, more likely, wiped ourselves out. Either way, only the atomic time will matter.

But...

The next leap second is scheduled to occur on the 30th of June.

Clearly, this must be stopped! The government are trying to steal part of my birthday!

Lego Star Wars, Puzzles, and Game Styles

2012-01-18T16:36:00.001Z

Since getting the Playstation 3, I've used it for playing music files, for playing DVDs and Blu-rays. Oh, and we've even used it for playing a game. Once.

The game in question is "Lego Star Wars 3: The Clone Wars", which may potentially tell you something about me, since it's a game aimed at kids. Doesn't matter - I really enjoy all the Lego games. The truth is, I find most modern games really frustrating. Over time, they've added more and more to the interfaces used, so that playing the games becomes ever harder, and you need hundreds of hours of practice to become halfway decent... and I don't have hundreds of hours to dedicate to something like that (not to mention the risk of addiction, which for me is very real). Lego Star Wars is nice and simple, and I can just about handle it.

But one of the fascinating things about playing this game is the different approaches that LC and I take to the game. She likes racing through the levels, completing the 'story' part of the game fairly quickly, and calling it done. Me, I quite like taking my time, seeing the sights, and maybe completing some of the other challenges in the game.

What is particularly excellent about the Lego games is that they support both approaches. There are a few puzzles that you need to solve to complete the various levels, but these are fairly simple. Then there are more advanced puzzles you need to solve to unlock some of the other objectives in the level - these are often much more complex. And then there's one higher level of puzzle, used to unlock the little "Easter Eggs" hidden throughout the game that aren't part of any formal objective.

Basically, you can invest as much into the game as you want, and it will support you. I find that excellent.

(That my thoughts have also been straying towards the issues involved in creating a really good RPG adventure is not entirely incidental...)

Clean Slate

2012-01-18T11:07:00.001Z

Last night I finished my fourth book of the year, the Pathfinder "GameMastery Guide", which was a surprisingly excellent book about designing adventures, building worlds, and the like. I was impressed - I had expected basically the same stuff that every "second DM's guide" has given us since 2nd Edition's "Campaign Sourcebook and Catacomb Guide" (which is still to be beaten, in my opinion). But this one genuinely did provide a different take on quite a lot of the material, which was nice.

But I don't really want to talk about that, but rather about what it represents.

See, at the start of the year I had three outstanding tasks. I was mid-way through "Great Expecations", mid-way through the "GameMastery Guide", and in the midst of writing "The Goblin Bride", that 4th Edition adventure I mentioned a while back. Three tasks away from hitting a 'clean slate' for the year.

Well, I finished "Great Expectations" some time ago. And, with the announcement of 5th Edition the writing task fell by the wayside (no longer serving any point). And so, last night, I completed the third and final task that was outstanding from the start of the year. Huzzah!

Of course, I immediately move forward with another set of outstanding tasks. The cleaning has fallen behind (by a whole day!), there is a new stack of books to read, there are seven things sitting on the Sky+ box waiting to be watched, and of course there is the wedding to plan.

Still, at least I can start on 2012 now...

#4: "Pathfinder: GameMastery Guide", from Paizo Publishing

Tales of the Bankrupted Future

2012-01-17T20:38:00.002Z

And, since I'm on the topic of settings for storytelling, I'll just note in passing that my other setting (which is suited more for short stories than RPGs) is titled "Tales of the Bankrupted Future". As the name implies, it is set in a future gone to ruin, where the endgame of our current madnesses are played out.

As was noted to me once before, the Cyberpunk writers of old weren't really writing about the future, they were writing about the (then) present. The same applies here, if I ever actually put pen to paper that is.

Three World-Building Concepts

2012-01-17T20:25:00.002Z

I'm working on a new fantasy setting. At the moment, I'm not sure whether to use it for role-playing campaigns (possibly in the upcoming D&D 5th Edition), or as a setting for short stories. Perhaps both. Anyway, the banner under which I'm working is "Life Under the Wheel", which makes perfect sense if you know what "The Wheel" is, though I'm keen not to reveal that detail too soon.

At the heart of the setting are three world-building concepts, each of which I lifted from somewhere else. But that's fine - it's the way the concepts are put together, rather than the concepts themselves, which would make the setting unique.

Points of Light

The first of the concepts was first named, as far as I'm aware, in the run up to the release of D&D 4th Edition. The concept itself is pretty simple: civilisation is threatened on all sides, and all that remain are isolated pockets - a "Point of Light" if you will. Of course, whether or not they are truly 'light', or indeed 'civilised' is an open question!

This concept should be familiar from pretty much any post-apocalyptic story. The world has fallen into ruin, and all that remains are the few survivors.

The World Malevolent

One of the differences between the "Lord of the Rings" films and the books surrounds what happens on the mount of Caradhras. In the films, the way is blocked by Saruman, who is controlling the weather. He and Gandalf contest wills, and Gandalf is beaten; the Fellowship must turn back. In the books, it is the mountain itself that opposes their way.

Similarly, in Fangorn Forest, it is noted that the trees are old and angry. They actively try to do harm to those who venture within.

That is the concept of the World Malevolent. Nature is not a passive, neutral thing. Nor, indeed, is it "red in tooth and claw", but ultimately just operating on instinct. Instead, the world itself has turned against man, perhaps as vengeance for our many wrongs...

The Mythic Underworld

And thirdly, and finally, we have the mythic underworld. One of the key features of "Dungeons & Dragons" are, of course, the dungeons. For a long time (decades in fact), there has been a move in adventure design to a very 'realistic' style of dungeon design - the monsters need places to store food and water, they have societies and comprehensible aims. And the dungeons themselves are, broadly speaking, just buildings.

Not so in the model of the Mythic Underworld. Instead, the dungeons represent a gateway to some other, and as such are a realm where the laws of our reality don't really apply. As with the World Malevolent, the dungeons are not just a neutral location; they actively conspire against man, and seek to destroy his works. A foul cancer gnaws at the world, and the dungeons are the vector by which it spreads.

And so, there it is. Those are the three concepts that are sitting at the heart of my setting. Now all I need to do is write it. Or not.

Does anyone know...

2012-01-15T12:47:00.002Z

Does anyone know a good way to remove congealed vegetable oil from a worktop?

My fryer spilled over the last-but-one time I used it, and the spill congealed into a horrible sticky mess. All efforts to remove it have, thus far, proven unsuccessful. Even Cillit Bang failed to shift it.

I did discover on Friday that if the fryer overflows again, the hot oil seems to act as a really good solvent. However, I'm reluctant to go down that route, as it seems fraught with the distinct possibility of burning Falkirk down...

Stressed

2012-01-15T12:37:00.003Z

I'm feeling a bit (well, very) stressed at the moment.

The wedding preparations are reaching a point where we've either got, or are about to have, a lot of tasks that need done fairly urgently. And there's not going to be any more time available for doing all these things. Plus, all the bills are going to come due close to the same time, so money's something of a worry, too.

Money worries are plaguing the band, also. We had a fantastic December, and raised a lot of money for relatively little effort, and yet... We actually made less than last December, we made much less in Oct and Nov, we have fewer paid events coming up, and we have some additional costs we didn't have last year. Plus, some of the kit we bought last year has turned out to be junk and needs replaced. We should be okay, but it's worrying.

And, at work, I've reached a task that is simple in theory, and would be simple in practice if I actually understood the code I'm modifying. Unfortunately, the guy who does understand it is away until next month, and I need to get it done by then.

And it really doesn't help that people keep having a go at me for being stressed, or telling me to calm down. I'm stressed out for a reason. Telling me to calm down, while that underlying reason remains, just stresses me out still further!

Referendum Woes

2012-01-12T10:38:00.001Z

I find myself more than a little infuriated at all the politicking that has broken out over the Independence Referendum. Prior to the election, all three unionist parties were adamant that the people of Scotland shouldn't be given the right to choose. Then, just as the SNP win a majority, suddenly they're all in favour of an immediate referendum?

This is the most important political decision that voters in Scotland will make, ever*. It is really important that it be done right - we should have the debate, have the arguments, have a lengthy period for sober reflection, and then determine the settled will of the people. This bickering over timing, because of the fashions of the hour, is not only undignified, but it shows a disrespect to the electorate.

* There are two possible exceptions - it's just about possible there may be an in-or-out referendum on the EU, and it's also just about possible that there may be one on the formal dissolution of the individual nation states in favour of an EU superstate. I don't think either is likely.

Here's what should be done:

- The referendum should be held in 2014. That's what the SNP campaigned for, and that's the only timing any party campaigned for. Moreover, having won the victory the SNP should be entitled to set the timing. This also gives us plenty of time to have the required debates and come to a settled conclusion. It's the right time.

- The referendum should include all the options. At the very least, it should include Independence, Demo Max and the Status Quo. There may yet be more options that haven't been considered - if there are any, they should also be included. (That said, don't weigh it down with trivial adjustments - there shouldn't be a "Devo Max, but without X Y and Z", for instance!) Whether this takes the form of multiple questions or a single question with multiple choices is irrelevant - people can handle both!

- The vote should not be given to 16 and 17 year olds. They don't get to vote in General Elections and they don't get to vote in Holyrood elections; they shouldn't get the vote here. (That said, there is a wider debate to be had about the "ages at which you can do things". It is insane that you can be a parent and/or join the army, but can't vote or take a drink. It is actually wrong that you can be required to pay taxes but can't vote. But that's a wider argument to be had separately - unless this gets properly rationalised by the time of the election, they shouldn't vote - there should be no exception from the norm for this one vote.)

- The vote should be overseen by an impartial body. It doesn't matter if that's the UK body or the Scottish equivalent - they're both impartial, and there's no concept of "one being more impartial than the other".

And that's it. The other parties are right to have a robust "No" campaign. The SNP, in turn, will have a robust "Yes" campaign. I expect the debates will be fierce. But that's the way it should be. Bitter arguments about whether Scotland get to have their say, and the terms and conditions thereof, are just wrong. We're the electorate - let us have our say!

More on PIP implants

2012-01-11T15:57:00.001Z

The scandal of the fault fake breasts rumbles on. I must admit, I find myself incredibly concerned by it all - that a private company would so casually endanger the lives of so many is quite scary. And while the operation in question is mostly a matter of choice (some might say vanity), that doesn't in any way mitigate this - the women involved still had a right not to have their lives put at risk.

I still don't understand why there's so much hassle in getting this sorted out. As far as I can see, it should be pretty straightforward:

If the clinic that performed the surgery is still around, then any woman who has had the PIP implants should be free to have them removed (and, if desired, replaced) free of charge. There should be no debate over this, and no questions over whether or not there is thought to be any danger. At its most basic, they've been sold faulty goods, a recall should be underway, and so they should be contacting their supplier. And, as I noted before, those suppliers have to carry hefty insurances in case something goes wrong; something has gone wrong, and it's time to act.

The key exception to this is the case where there is an urgent threat to the health of women affected. Because arranging the required surgery privately will take time, the NHS will need to step in to remove the offending implants. It may (or may not) be appropriate for the NHS to also arrange replacements - that's a medical decision I'm not equipped to make, though my inclination would be "not". In any event, there should also be a mechanism for the NHS to get appropriate compensation from those same clinics for cleaning up their mess.

In the case where the clinics are not still around, it falls to the NHS to pick up the pieces. And here, my feeling is that the women affected should be able to have the implants removed if desired. Again, it may or may not be appropriate for them to also have the implants replaced. (In this case, there might be an argument for requiring proof of an actual danger before proceeding... but in general I'm a believer in preventative medicine, which suggests going ahead.)

As I noted in my previous post, if there is any hassle dealing with the clinics, there should be legal recourse to compel them to do the right thing. In cases where the clinics have disappeared, there should be recourse against the shareholders.

Finally, we need to tighten up the regulations to ensure that something like this cannot happen again. Further, we need to track down all those involved in making the switch (from the guy who actually did it, all the way up the chain to the guy who first made the call). They need to be found, prosecuted, and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

(Incidentally, this failure, in itself, is not an argument against privatisation in the NHS. The argument against privatisation in the NHS is that it's an incredibly stupid idea. But this is a failure of regulation, and could have hit the NHS just as it has private clinics. Indeed, given that not all such surgeries are cosmetic, it is possible that there are some women who have received the offending PIP implants on the NHS.)

#3: "Loving Against the Odds", by Rob Parsons

Two Thoughts From Yesterday

2012-01-10T10:26:00.000Z

The third part of "Great Expectations" was no better than the first two. In fact, it was considerably worse. And the ending just doesn't bear thinking about. (The next paragraph contains spoilers for the series and the novel. If you don't want to know, feel free to skip to the paragraph beyond, which will be spoiler free.)

Now, here's the thing: Pip does not love Estella. He does not even know Estella. He is in love with the idea of Estella, and that really is no basis for them being happy together. The mega-happy ending of the TV adaptation is completely wrong. Dickens understood this, hence the notion that they would "remain friends apart".

The other major thing that happened yesterday was that Wizards of the Coast announced that they are developing a 5th Edition of Dungeons & Dragons, and are having an open playtest of the rules as they develop. Their stated goal is to reunify the fanbase, which was badly fractured as a result of 4th Edition.

I was a bit surprised, not by the announcement, but rather in that I thought I would be more excited. Instead, there was just the relief that a long-awaited announcement had finally come.

I wish WotC well in this endeavour. But I am hopeful rather than confident. I suspect that the goals they have set themselves are simply too large for them to succeed - the very things that people liked about 3rd Edition (and its descendant, Pathfinder) are the very things that many 4th Edition fans don't like. I don't see how they can satisfy both groups, and I fear that in trying to compromise they will fail to satisfy anyone.

A shame, really. I really did used to love that game.

Disappointing

2012-01-09T09:46:00.000Z

In a slightly unfortunate coincidence of timing, I had just started "Great Expectations" when I heard about the BBC adaptation. As there was significant hype surrounding it, I made sure to record the three parts, but didn't start watching until after I had completed the novel. I therefore watched the first part on Saturday night, and the second yesterday morning. I should find time to watch the third part today.

Sadly, it does not live up to the hype.

The first part was actually okay. There were a couple of the characters that were 'off', with Joe being the most significant - and given that his character is absolutely central to the story, that was a problem. There were a few scenes that were moved around, including one that had its tone entirely changed. And, there was a slightly bizarre change to the contents of the pie (mutton instead of pork). Honestly, I wouldn't have noticed had it not been brought to my attention... but having had that done, it's very strange.

But the second part was mince. Very, very poor. The changes to the characters continued to cascade, rendering much of the core of the story unintelligible. The dialogue just didn't work in several places. Characters who should have been friendly were instead indifferent, while characters who should have been unfriendly were instead monstrous. And the scene in the brothel was almost unforgivable.

The third part should be an interesting experience, but I'm not hoping for much. The damage done to the story is too deep.

The thing is, this is very well made, from a technical point of view. The production is absolutely glorious, and the cast is mostly good (Gillian Anderson is the wrong person for Miss Havesham, but her performance is otherwise fine). And for someone who hasn't read the book, or read it a long time ago but not terribly closely, I guess it's close enough.

But having just read the novel, watching the TV version is really quite jarring. Overall, a poor effort.

Rage!

2012-01-08T10:36:00.004Z

I don't know why, but this year's "Celebrity Big Brother" fills me with an inexplicable rage. I mean, the anger should have been directed at it last year, when Channel 5 resurrected a deservedly-dead show.

(Actually, it would be a much better show if it truly was undead. Imagine, a zombie attack on the house. Imagine the hilarity as the zombies become increasingly desperate in their hunt for brains...)

Anyway, I think my big issue with the show this year is the nature of the 'stars'. Of the women, four are described as 'glamour' models, while one is only famous for being the other woman to have an affair with Ryan Giggs. (And, shockingly, hers is the more unpleasant story, despite Imogen Thomas being yet another 'glamour' model.) And another is a woman who had a brief career in the soaps, but is mostly known for "Loose Women", the worst show on the entirety of TV.

I don't suppose the men are any better. But, with the exception of Madsen and Cocozza, my immediate response is 'who?', even after I've read their bios. At least I know what a 'glamour' model is (porn star, albeit in the softest end of that spectrum). But for most of the men, is that a band? A TV show? Some sort of hat?

Honestly, though, it's the coverage that gets to me. I don't agree with super-injunctions, but Ryan Giggs was right to want to avoid publicity for this mess. Mrs Giggs has no business seeking to trade on her ill-gotten 'fame', and her 'need' to rehabilitate her reputation is as nothing to allowing the families involved to heal - which requires her staying out of the limelight. And don't get me started on the spectacle of Imogen Thomas attacking her on Twitter, as if she were somehow the wronged woman in all of this...

There is a very small group of celebrities that I don't merely dislike, but actively detest. Celebrity Big Brother seems to have managed to collect most of them together in one place this year. And shameful as it is, I can't help but wish that Michael Madsen would have a flashback to his "Reservoir Dogs" persona...

(Edit: No, I don't watch CBB, although I might watch either the Zombie or Reservoir Dogs versions. Nor do I really seek out news on the subject. But somehow gossip about the show has become 'news', so when I'm driving around listening to the radio, I tend to pick up just enough about the show to get a taste of the annoyance.)

Oh no!

2012-01-08T10:21:00.002Z

I discovered last night that one of my posts was only a draft, and had been superseded by the 'real' version of the post. Therefore, I had to delete it, and so reduce the post count on the blog.

Disaster!

Fortunately, I get to blog about it, thus restoring the post count. This time.

#2: "Pathfinder: Bestiary 3", by Paizo Publishing

Men and Shopping

2012-01-07T20:09:00.003Z

Right, brace yourself for a rant.

Yesterday morning (and afternoon), Lady Chocolat and I set up our wedding list. This involved trailing around a store looking at many many items, selecting some, and scanning them with a handheld device. It was not fun.

Now, LC and I have a standing joke about shopping not being allowed to last more than "one hour and seven minutes". That is actually a reference to a study that was done that showed that men get progressively more uncomfortable doing shopping, with the average tolerance being about 1:07. I'm not sure what the methodology here was, but there's certainly some truth in their findings (if not the number itself); certainly, as we moved into the third hour of looking at stuff, I was getting rather tetchy.

Now, here's the thing: I do not inherently dislike shopping. Further, I understand that it's often necessary, and also that sometimes a shopping task may well take a fairly long time. That's all fair enough. But, at the same time, I do not find shopping pleasurable. At best, it is a necessary task, much like doing the laundry, or washing the car.

It's also worth considering that, like most people who work, I have limited free time, and that time is valuable. And, of course, not all free time is equally valuable - longer blocks are worth more than a snatched minute. And the most valuable time of all is Saturday morning and afternoon. This is where I have both the combination of the most free time and the most energy to do something with it.

This should, perhaps go some way to explaining why giving up that time for a necessary task, rather than something more enjoyable, meets with a certain resistance. And when we cross over from 'spending' time doing that task to 'wasting' time doing that task, the frustration readily builds.

(Where the 'tolerance' thing from the study done comes in is that there is no outlet for that frustration. You just have to endure. But swallowing that frustration, and continuing to do so, gets really quite difficult.)

The problem is not actually one of going around picking things. It's not even particularly an issue of having to assess lots of options before making a decision (at least in my case). That's fair enough - it's important to get the right things.

The problem, by and large, is other people, which is generally compounded by the stores themselves. Basically, the whole thing seems deliberately designed to eat your life, all in the name of selling you things that you only sort-of want.

The problem with other people is not that they're individually being unreasonable. People walk at different rates. Mothers, by and large, have to take time looking after their children. The guy at the checkout is not unreasonable to want to pay by cash, nor to count out the exact change. None of this is unreasonable, or a valid cause for complaint, or a big issue.

The problem is the cumulative effect of all these reasonable delays is utterly unreasonable. When you get stuck behind a mother with pushchair for the five hundredth time, she is no more unreasonable than the first one... but you still want to scream. It's a tiny little frustration, but it's on top of a million other tiny little frustrations, with absolutely no let-out.

And then there are the stores. These have been very carefully designed to have some quick paths through the store, to take you quickly to the department you want, plus an awful lot of slow paths to force you to take your time in that department. That's actually quite a fascinating subject - and some bright spark was paid an obscene amount of money to very carefully research and design it.

Except that in reality, once you reach Saturday afternoon, the 'quick' paths are clogged with huge numbers of people all fighting through the rush. They come to a virtual standstill. And so, you're forced to take the marginally quicker 'slow' paths, dodge around the stands at great speed (and risk to life and limb), all to save half a second from your day but, much more importantly, to save another tiny fraction of your soul from dying. Because if this goes on much longer, you are going to snap.

Then there's the question of staffing levels in the stores. Especially in these times of austerity, stores want to employ the minimum number of people, and that means that they will always have as few assistants on hand as they can get away with, as few people on the tills, and as many away doing other, more productive things. By and large, they manage to do this pretty efficiently. And they're actually quite flexible, so they draft in more people as they need them.

But it does mean that queues are a fact of life in stores, more now than before, and that means waiting, when you're already frazzled. But, worse, it means that sometimes things go wrong. And so, you get the guy a the top of the queue who absolutely must be trading in old games for credit, complete with forms to fill out and a call to the manager. That's fine, since they'll just put another guy on. Oh, wait, the woman who was second is making a complaint, and also needs to speak to the manager. Yay! And so the queue stands still for several minutes, while the blood pressure rises, the frustration grows... and you're stuck.

The "one hour and seven minutes" thing is a joke. But the principle behind it is not a joke. There really is a limit to how long I can stand being stuck shopping. And the more people there are around, and the hotter it gets, the shorter that limit becomes.

There's a lot here that sounds like hyperbole: "eat your life", "want to scream", etc. It is not hyperbole; it really was that bad. I was in considerable discomfort, and by the end I couldn't give the job the attention it required, because I really was fighting back the urge to explode in rage. And once it was finally over, and we got home, we both collapsed in a heap and did nothing meaningful for the rest of the day. That job basically destroyed our entire Saturday, which is a really bitter pill to swallow.

So, I'm sorry I was tetchy. Honestly, I am. And I'm glad that the task is basically done. But it was still a fightful ordeal.

The First Book of 2012

2012-01-07T20:06:00.003Z

This afternoon, I finished "Great Expectations", my first book of 2012. According to the back cover, this is regarded as Dickens' finest novel. Sadly, I can't agree; it was good, but I preferred "Tale of Two Cities", which remains the best novel I have ever read.

Still, it was a very good book indeed, although I didn't think either of the two endings was terribly strong. I felt it could have done with another hundred pages or so to tie things up more neatly.

Anyway, having finished the book, I can now start watching the recent BBC adaptation, which I saved over the Christmas break. I've heard mixed reviews, so it will be interesting to find out for myself.

#1: "Great Expectations", by Charles Dickens (a book from The List)

Dear Terry...

2012-01-06T15:35:00.002Z

Last night I tapped and unwrapped the first of my Christmas chocolate oranges, and I must admit to being rather disappointed, for three reasons:

1) The orange seems decidedly smaller than last year.

2) The segments are extremely prone to collapse. What good is "tap and unwrap", if the result is a pile of chocolate dust?

But, mostly,

3) The chocolate really didn't taste very chocolate-y. It was all very bland and unsatisfying.

Fortunately, the German regular orange that I ate immediately thereafter was considerably better. Please pass my thanks on to the German Santa when next you see him!

Mug Anecdotes

2012-01-06T14:12:00.000Z

I have many mugs. Some might say I have a plethora of mugs, although I tend to prefer the word 'myriad'. At least one person might say I have too many mugs, but that depends on the definition of 'too many'.

In truth, most of these mugs has a story behind it, a tale of where I got it, and under what circumstances. Some others are defined by the purpose to which they are put.

On my most recent adventure, while returning from Stuttgart, I picked up a mug in the airport in Amsterdam, signifying that it is from Holland. (I don't, at present, have a mug from Germany; I didn't really think that one through.) Similarly, I have a mug from Rome with the Colliseum on it, a mug from Barcelona with some Guadi architecture, and a mug from Portugal with a big cock on it. (No, really...) And at least three mugs from France, one of which is my default mug.

Conversely, there's the Transformers mug that is only used for hot chocolate. And Lady Chocolat's mug which has a pirate ninja on it, which only she uses. Then there's the Frog mug, which is used for measuring rice, for reasons that should be obvious. Recently, I've also added a mug specifically for use at work, which is rather usefully marked with the company name.

(You do know I meant a cockerel, didn't you?)

It's worth noting that I don't collect mugs. Please don't take the above as license to buy me endless mugs as souvenirs whenver you travel - I'd much rather you instead spent the money on enjoying your holiday more.

What I collect are adventures. The mugs are merely the physical manifestation of those adventures. They're like the Ark of the Covenant or the Holy Grail, but for software engineering rather than archaeology.

Taking Down the Decoration

2012-01-05T14:48:00.001Z

Although it's not quite traditional, I am in the habit of taking down the Christmas decoration just before leaving the house for the final time on the 31st of December. This therefore symbolises the passing of the year, and the entry to a new year with a clean slate. Plus, it's quick and easy to do so.

You'll note that I said decoration, singular.

For the past several years, since I moved out of home actually, it has been my approach that I have a single decoration at Christmas. This is just enough to set the festive scene, without requiring any significant amount of effort or planning. Since I'm the only person who lives there, and since I very seldom have guests, this was entirely sufficient, I thought. (I also display those few Christmas cards I receive appropriately, from whenever I receive them until the 31st.)

Lady Chocolat has made it clear that this approach to Christmas is not going to survive the wedding. And my initial compromise position, that we could perhaps have a decoration each was met with a Look. (I thought it was entirely reasonable, to be honest. I mean, that represents an increase in festive cheer by a full 100%, which is quite a lot, really.)

In truth, though, I'm not even remotely bothered by the proliferation of decorations. I'm not actually anti-decoration at all, and nor do I object to festive cheer.

What I object to, and this ties in somewhat to the previous post, is when something that should bring pleasure and joy (in this case Christmas) becomes so bound up in all manner of things that you 'must' do that it all becomes extremely stressful and loses its meaning. Especially if you're only doing these things out of some misplaced sense that you have to do them, and double especially if the only person who is aware of what you've done is yourself.

Basically, I don't like make-work tasks.

If you want to put up loads of decorations, if you enjoy having those decorations, and if you feel they add to the season, then more power to you. Have fun with that. But if, instead, it's actually a job you hate doing, and you only do it "because it's Christmas" and because you've always done it... you're doing it wrong. Trust me, there isn't a minimum number of decorations required for it to be Christmas. Santa doesn't give marks out of ten for tinsel arrangements.

You may now proceed to call me Scrooge in the comments.

The Good China

2012-01-05T14:23:00.000Z

I'm going to be a little presumptious here, and talk about wedding gifts. Specifically, the notion of "the good china".

Simply put, I don't subscribe to the notion of keeping things for "best" or for "company", or whatever else. The problem is that after the stuff gets put aside, you then spend a significant amount of effort debating about whether to bring it out because so-and-so is coming around. Is this set of guests the ones that are important enough to warrant the good china? And if so, why them and not the people you had round last week?

The longer you wait before bringing out the good china, the greater the importance that becomes attached to it in your mind. Leave it long enough, and the good china becomes an almost mystical artifact, an heirloom of your kingdom, and to be treated with the utmost reverence.

Which means that when you finally do bring out the good china, presumably because the Queen has decided to pop round, you then get to spend the entire time terrified that it might get damaged.

In effect, what should have been a great blessing, and a source of joy and pleasure, instead becomes a source of stress and division, and then a terrifying ordeal.

I exaggerate, of course. But only somewhat.

My approach is the opposite - that these things are intended to give joy, and that they do that by being put to their intended use. That way, you can be reminded of the wonderful gift that your friend/relative/random stranger has given you. And when, as is sadly inevitable, it gets damaged/lost/worn out, well, at least you have the memories of having used the item well and properly. And not kept it carefully kept it "for best" for several years, finally brought it out of storage, and then dropped it at an inopportune time.

Ultimately, what I'm trying to get at is this: If you should find yourself giving us a nice gift, and you later find that we are busily using said gift, rather than laying it aside "for best", please don't be offended. It is not that we don't value and esteem you and your generous gift to us. On the contrary, it is precisely because we do.

Oh, for goodness sake!

2012-01-05T09:19:00.002Z

Michele Bachmann has not failed in her bid to be President of the United States due to some horrific sexist agenda. Sarah Palin did not fail in her not-quite-bid to be President of the United States due to some horrific sexist agenda.

They failed because they were lousy candidates.

In all seriousness, Obama has turned out to be a huge let down as president. He's there for the beating, and if the Republicans put forward a decent candidate, they would win. But if Palin and Bachmann are representative of the quality of Republican candidates, Obama might as well not bother campaigning; his opponents will do the job for him.

(Incidentally, that's not to say that there aren't horrific sexist agendas at work. But Bachmann and Palin aren't good evidence of them, since there are so many non-sexist reasons for rejecting them as candidates.)

Sleeping Beauty

2012-01-04T19:37:00.002Z

Forgot to post this before Christmas...

The ballet of the year was "Sleeping Beauty". It was okay, a bit better than last year's effort, and perhaps on a par with the squirrels of the year before.

However, there was one thing that I could really have managed without: a couple of the female dancers seemed to be little more the skin stretched over bone.

Now, in fairness, it is just about possible that they were just naturally thin. But it really didn't look that way, and they really didn't look healthy. It most definitely looked to me like eating disorders were at work (or, since we're insisting that eating disorders are actually diseases, perhaps they were simply following an unhealthy diet).

It is possible that those involved in ballet will say that such thing dancers are a necessity. After all, they have to perform all manner of lifts that require significant strength, and the less the dancers weigh the easier those lifts are to perform. Indeed, some of the lifts may simply be impossible with dancers of a more normal weight.

But, on the other hand, if an art form requires a significant proportion of practitioners risk their health in order to perform, perhaps it is time for that art form to go the same way as the castrati.

Roar of the Monomyth

2012-01-04T14:23:00.000Z

Lady Chocolat and I watched "The Lion King" yesterday. This may well have been the first time I've seen it since it was in the cinema (the first time); it is certainly the first time for quite some time. It was also considerably better than I remembered.

Of course, the story of "The Lion King" isn't at all original. There are bits of "Hamlet" in there, and there are more than a few similarities with "Star Wars" as well (son of Darth Vader grows up in exile, is taught by some bizarre mystic, and then goes to fight the evil empire and bring balance to the For, er, Pride Lands). And, of course, there's "Kimba, the White Lion"...

That's not very surprising. After all, there are apparently only seven stories in the whole of literature. (Incidentally, one of which is "American Pie". Be afraid. Be very afraid.) And, moreover, "The Lion King" seems to map pretty closely to what Joseph Campbell termed the 'Monomyth' in his book, "Hero With a Thousand Faces".

In said book, Campbell studies a large number of mythic tales throughout history, and finds a great deal of similarity in the structure of those tales. Indeed, he identifies certain key stages in the journey, events which crop up again and again in these stories.

And so, "Lord of the Rings" has much in common with "Star Wars", which shares a great deal with "The Matrix", which mirrors "The Lion King". Plus, usefully, it's almost exactly the same pattern that is built into the career of every D&D character ever. (What? How else did you figure I knew this stuff?)

Campbell's conclusion was that the reason this story resonates so well with people (especially men) was to do with an expression of Jung's notion of the Collective Unconscious - we've told those stories so often that they're now just part of our cultural gestalt. Or something.

Tolkien's explanation of the same was the notion of 'sub-creation' - that as created works, Man has been imprinted with universal truth by God, and cannot help but express that truth in his own stories. This also has the convenient effect of explaining the similarities between various religions.

Sadly, my own explanation for this is rather simpler. The stages of the hero's journey as found in the monomyth also crop up in another place, and it happens to be in an experience that every single adult on the planet shares. Specifically, it is the story, over and over, of a child growing up.

100 Days

2012-01-03T10:57:00.002Z

On the 12th of April this year, exactly 100 days from today, Part Four begins. On that day, I will be married. Huzzah!

Right on cue, last night I had a particularly bizarre dream, about a ninja attack on our wedding day. Obviously, this is an expression of my anxiety about the wedding. (Not about getting married to LC, you understand, but rather the organisation of the day itself.)

Anyway, in the dream I was wearing a suit, so it clearly wasn't a realistic dream...

When Boobs Go Bad

2012-01-03T10:49:00.003Z

At the tail end of last year, I was of course horrified at the story of the faulty breast implants. Apparently, some supplier had switched from the approved silicone compound to a slightly different industrial compound. The health risks appear to be fairly minor, but I daresay they're pretty horrifying for the women involved, who will no doubt be keen to have the implants removed and/or replaced as soon as possible.

One thing I don't understand, though, is why it is expected that the NHS will be picking up the bill for this. The clinics that performed the operations are, ultimately, responsible for checking their suppliers. They also carry insurance to protect themselves in case of a botched surgery. This most certainly counts.

It would seem to me, therefore, that it should be a matter for these private businesses to be arranging to correct their mistake. If they are at all slow in doing so, the full force of the law should be applied in making them fulfil their obligations.

Oh, and then we should be going after the company who supplied the faulty implants as well.

(Questions over whether it is actually healthy for so many women to seek such an enhancement in the first place is a question for another time.)

Uncertain

2011-12-31T11:11:00.003Z

For the first time since 2003/2004, I go into the New Year without a clear idea of what to expect. I know that the next few months will be pretty stressful, and hard work. And I know that April will bring the wedding, which will be awesome.

But after that...?

Well, I don't know. Hence the uncertainty, really. Things will change, but which things, and to what extent?

Oh well. It will be fun finding out!

My Year in 2011

2011-12-31T10:34:00.002Z

With a view to clearing my to-do list as far as is possible before the bells (and also to put off some of the day's less pleasant tasks), I thought I'd do my review of the year a little early.

2011 has been a strangely mixed year. In some ways, it has been the best year ever, while in others it has been pretty horrible. My overall impression of the year, though, has been one of abiding and deep tiredness.

My Year in... Work

2011 has not been the best of years in work. Things for the company have been going well, but for myself... not so much. August and September were particularly hard, and things have only recovered somewhat. I'm not looking forward to going back, while at the same time determined to do better again in 2012.

My Year in... Gaming

2011 was probably the best year for gaming since I left university. The RPG Meetup has moved across to Groupspaces, and continues to go well. We seem to have settled at around 25 people, with about a dozen people in the "core group". There are several games ongoing at any time, so people can usually find a game when they want to play.

This year I ran the first section in a new campaign "The Eberron Code", which will continue in 2012 (some time after the wedding). That went exceptionally well, and has joined my legendary "big three" as one of the campaigns I'm most proud of.

I also ran three one-off games. The first was a "Star Wars Saga Edition" game with a bit of an A-team vibe. This went exceptionally well, with everyone involved having a really good time. However, it was very quickly eclipsed by "Ultraviolet: Code-500", which was the single best game I have run in many years. And then, this week, I ran my second annual Christmas Game, which was once again "Serenity". Despite two late call-offs, the game remained a lot of fun, and was rather more satisfying than last year's effort.

In addition to running some good games, I got some opportunity to play, with the occasional game of "The Laundry", "Deadlands" and "Dark Sun". Good times.

The Saturday Game has largely come to a halt. I finished off the "Company of the Black Hand" campaign, and we've since played a couple of sessions of "Dark Heresy". However, I explained that the wedding marks the end of my availability for this game. I think we will have no more than one or two more sessions between now and then.

In 2012, I am hoping to run a handful of one-off games, and am also hoping that my schedule will allow me to continue "The Eberron Code". Obviously, we'll need to see about both these things.

My Year in... Band

As with so many other things, 2011 was a mixed year for the band. Early in the year, we were promoted to Grade 4A. We went into the season in high spirits, and actually won prizes at the first competition of the year, a Minor contest but traditionally a tough one. Spirits were high... and then quickly crushed.

The rest of the season was largely a sequence of disappointments. We failed to qualify at the Worlds, we didn't win any prizes of note, and we got some really hard criticism for our efforts.

We did set up the Development Band, which competed four times. Again, they won prizes on their first outing, which was remarkable. But, again, they didn't qualify at either the Worlds or at Cowal.

Financially, the band did extremely well, easing my fears for the future somewhat. However, at the end of the year we lost our lead drummer, and the pipe major of the Development Band. These were both painful losses that we haven't really recovered from.

It looks like 2012 is likely to be another year of consolidation. We'll see how we get on in Grade 4A, but the standard is really high and it's not clear we'll make it. I'll be leading the Development Band out, which could be... interesting. We'll see how it goes.

My Year in... Love

Super Secret Goal #3 was completed in June, and was awesome of course.

The preparations for the wedding have been a bit of a shock to the system, as there's so much more to do than I had expected. And, especially difficult, much of it is stuff that gets put in motion but can't be finished off until April... this leaves a huge pile of things unresolved, which is just stressful.

Anyway, things are either well in hand, or we've forgotten something important. I'll let you know in April!

My Year in... Resolutions

Six done, three failed, and one in progress. That's a 'B' grade performance, which is okay but not stellar.

For 2012, there is precisely one goal, and it will be resolved in 2012 (barring a disaster, of course).

My Year in... Travel

The annual trip to Ireland with the band went well enough. This year, we were joined by Lady Chocolat, which was nice. Recently, work took several of us out to Stuttgart for a training day, a trip that also went very well.

And, finally, the big trip of the year was to Rome, which was awesome.

Next year might well have a big trip in the offing...

My Year in... Faith

There's not really a lot to report here. All remains well, for now.

My Year in Painting

Over the course of the year, I gradually painted up that Ork Warband I mentioned last year. It is now done, and glaring menacingly across the living room. I have decided against getting any more figures to paint, at least for the time being.

My Year... Overall

2011 was a very mixed year. The trip to Rome was awesome, and the gaming front has been very good. On the other hand, the band's season was extremely disappointing, and work has been extremely stressful. August, in particular, was an horrible month.

2012 beckons. The high point is pretty obvious, but the rest...

Books of the Year 2011

2011-12-31T10:17:00.002Z

As I noted in my update on goals, I'm currently in progress on two books, but extremely unlikely to finish either today. That being the case, here's the roundup of the books that I have completed this year:

"AD&D: Monster Manual", by Gary Gygax
"AD&D: Player's Handbook", by E. Gary Gygax
"Pathfinder: Vaults of Madness", by Greg A. Vaughan
"Pathfinder: The Thousand Fangs Below", by Graeme Davis
"Pathfinder: Sanctum of the Serpent God", by Neil Spicer
"Les Miserables Volume One", by Victor Hugo *
"Serenity: Out in the Black", by Tracy and Laura Hickman
"Serenity: Adventures", by James Davenport, Ted Reed, James M. Ward, Alana Abbot and Billy Aguiar
"Pathfinder: The Haunting of Harrowstone", by Michael Kortes
"Serenity: Spaceships and Six Shooters", by Lynn Blackson and Jason Durall
"Serenity: Big Damn Heroes Handbook", from Margaret Weis Productions
"At the Gates of Darkness", by Raymond E. Feist
"Pathfinder: Trial of the Beast", by Richard Pett
"Les Miserables, Volume Two", by Victor Hugo *
"Pathfinder: Broken Moon", by Tim Hitchcock
"Cloud Atlas", by David Mitchell *
"The Fort", by Bernard Cornwell
"Pathfinder: Wake of the Watcher", by Greg A. Vaughan
"Watcher of the Dead", by J.V. Jones
"AD&D: Dungeon Master's Guide", by Gary Gygax
"AD&D: Legends & Lore", by James M. Ward and Robert Kuntz
"AD&D: Fiend Folio", edited by Don Turnbull
"AD&D: Monster Manual II", by Gary Gygax
"Pathfinder: Shadows of Gallowspire", by Brandon Hodge
"Pathfinder: The Brinewall Legacy", by James Jacobs
"Pathfinder: Bestiary 2", by Paizo Publishing
"I Shall Wear Midnight", by Terry Pratchett
"Pathfinder: Night of Frozen Shadows", by Greg A. Vaughan
"Empire of Silver", by Conn Iggulden
"War and Peace", by Leo Tolstoy *
"Black Crusade", by Fantasy Flight Games
"The Books of the South", by Glen Cook
"Pathfinder: The Hungry Storm", by Jason Nelson
"Pathfinder: Forest of Spirits", by Richard Pett
"The Gathering Storm", by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson
"Pathfinder: Advanced Player's Guide", from Paizo Publishing
"Renegade's Magic", by Robin Hobb

There are four books from The List, marked with asterisks. (Note that "Les Miserables" counts twice, per my "one set of covers = one book" rule.) Twenty-five of the books are RPG-related, mostly from the Pathfinder line. There were no work-related books, nor were there any re-reads.

It's hard to pick out the best books of the year, as there weren't any that stood out. I think perhaps "Les Miserables" edges out the competition as being the most satisfying read (although that's two books, and so cheating...). The worst was "Renegade's Magic", which was not a fun read - I only read it to finish up the trilogy, and the best thing I can say about it is that it is done!

For 2012, I currently have 25 books picked out, plus the two that are currently in progress. This includes two from The List - "Great Expectations" and "A Town Like Alice". I would expect to get through all of these without any difficulty. Beyond that, I'm not setting any reading goal, but will continue to note books as I finish them.

End of Year Update on Goals

2011-12-31T09:57:00.002Z

The end of the year beckons, and I'm unlikely to make any more progress on any of my goals, so here's the year-end update:

Super Secret Goal #3 - Complete.
Blog more - This is post 818 on the blog, well short of the 900-post mini-target for the end of the year. On the other hand, I did manage to "blog more", so the goal as stated at the start of the year, is a success.
Lose weight - Fail. Christmas has not done me any favours this year.
The band got promoted last year, which meant that our goal for 2011 was to attain promotion again. This proved to be far too ambitious, and so this goal is failed.
The Saturday Game - Complete.
Write something - Fail. I had intended to finish off the writing task during the month of December, which then became an effort to finish it in my week off, but I never did. Shame.
Relax more - Complete.
Books - The goal as stated is complete. Of the five books other books I wanted to tackle, I have finished three and am in progress on both of the other two. I should finish those in the next few days, but won't get them done today.
Painting - Complete.
Wedding Preparations - Ongoing. The next major task is sending out the invitations, but there have been some unforseen delays...

So, that gives a total of six goals completed, three failed, and one that will remain ongoing for the next three and a half months. That's not a bad showing, but not a particularly good one, either. Still, given that I wanted to avoid a "tyranny of goals", it's not too bad I suppose.

#36: "Pathfinder: Advanced Player's Guide", from Paizo Publishing
#37: "Renegade's Magic", by Robin Hobb

On the other hand...

2011-12-08T19:24:00.002Z

Turns out that almost immediately after I published my last post, the road opened up again and I was able to go. I promptly left the office and had a really quick ride home. I'm now 36 minutes short of where I 'should' be for the week, but that's okay. I'll make up the time tomorrow.

With the extra time I have been given, I was able to finish up the most recent novel, which was the twelve volume of the Wheel of Time. And, having said that, I can almost hear Chris bracing himself for the big rant...

Well, it turned out that the book did indeed live up to expectations, being a big turgid mess of words with nothing actually happening. For the first twenty-seven chapters, anyway. After that, suddenly, the plot sprang to life, and it was actually quite exciting. Almost reminded me of why I got so far into the series in the first place.

Apparently, Robert Jordan had the book partially written before he died. It's probably unkind, but I think I can pinpoint just where he got to.

#35: "The Gathering Storm", by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson

There's no place like home...

2011-12-08T15:35:00.001Z

Today, Scotland is being battered by high winds. This is not the usual run-of-the-mill winds we sometimes get, nor indeed is it the absurdly anti-climactic non-winds I expected when I heard they'd put out a Red Alert about the winds. (I mean, honestly, what was I supposed to expect? They declare extreme weather warnings at the first hint of weather these days.)

So, I developed a cunning plan. My plan was to stick around in the office for the minimum possible amount of time, attend the meeting I had booked, then copy some stuff onto a disk (so I could work at home), and then, well, go home.

This was an excellent and inventive plan, which proved to have only one small flaw.

About one hour before I was able to leave the office, a lorry overturned on the motorway, right where I needed to join it. And, consequently, the entire road system near the office has ground to a halt for the foreseeable future. In a cruel reversal of last year's Snow Days, this year I have become trapped in the office.

Strike!

2011-11-30T10:48:00.000Z

So, the strike...

On the one hand:

- I'm really not a fan of the various union leaders. In fact, they seem to go out of their way to make sure I don't like them. And I can't help but think that a large part of their motivation is political; if the Labour party were in office doing exactly the same things, I daresay they wouldn't be as active.

- It is true that much of our public services just aren't fit for purpose (with the House of Commons being the most obvious example). It is true that there is a very strong case for some cuts. It is true that we're just not getting good value for money in a lot of areas. It is true that there are entire functions that various organisations are providing that they really shouldn't be. It is true that the bureaucracy has gotten badly out of hand, and is now serving the bureaucracy more than it should (and, sometimes, more than it does us). And it is likely true that there are entire layers of middle management that could simply be eliminated that would not only not reduce services, but which would actually improve them.

- If we were setting up public sector pay and pension arrangements from a blank slate, it is almost certainly the case that we wouldn't offer anything like the current arrangement, and even the revised arrangement on offer is probably more generous than what would be tabled.

However...

We're not setting up public sector pay and pension arrangements from a blank slate. A particular set of pay and conditions were agreed, including the current pension arrangements. And simply trying to change those unilaterally is wrong.

(And, actually, it's exactly the same argument as I made with the banker bonuses at the start of the year - the contracts say that particular payments should be made; those payments should be made. Despite most of the banks being in public ownership, the government haven't insisted on a mass renegotiation of banker pay, and they haven't even insisted that the banks only pay out the minimum contractually-required bonuses. That they are instead going after public sector workers is a rather shocking double standard.)

The government tabled an initial ridiculous offer. They had it rejected, and came back with another "generous" offer that was still unacceptable. They seem strongly disinclined to further negotiations. That being the case, striking is certainly justified.

(At the moment, the government are asking public sector workers to accept a multi-year pay freeze followed by a two-year 1% increase while inflation is around 5% (effectively, a big pay cut), and to pay more into their pension, and to work longer, and to get a smaller pension at the end. And in return they'll... well, nothing really. Some negotiation. Any one of these, or maybe the combination of "pay freeze" and "work longer", might be acceptable, but all together? Yeah, right.)

As far as I can see, the only thing wrong with the strike is that it's a one-day stoppage. This will probably hurt the workers more than it does the government. Still, this is probably just the opening shot - I can foresee worse to come.

It's going to be an interesting few months.

One More Update on Goals

2011-11-29T10:53:00.001Z

As we move into December, I think there's time for one last update on goals, before the end-of-year wash-up:

Super Secret Goal #3 - Complete.
Blog more - Ongoing. The blog passed 800 posts quite recently, but in order to reach the target of 999 by April 11th it probably needs to hit 900 by the end of this year, which isn't happening.
Lose weight - Ongoing. As with the blog target, I haven't done as much as I would have liked, and won't have done as much as I would like by the end of the year, but I'm not too unhappy about the actual progress to date.
The band got promoted last year, which meant that our goal for 2011 was to attain promotion again. This proved to be far too ambitious, and so this goal is failed.
The Saturday Game - Complete. It seems doubtful that we'll get together again this year, and we'll probably only get together a couple of times in the new year. A shame, but there it is.
Write something - Ongoing. I had hoped to get this done for Lady Chocolat returning, but that proved over-ambitious. My revised deadline was the end of this month, but wasn't able to find the time. I intend to have it done by the end of the year.
Relax more - Complete-ish. As discussed last time, I let things slide a bit and created problems for myself. Better to just stay on top of things!
Books - I have finished "War and Peace", completing the reading I set out at the start of the year. Further, I have now reached 34 books for the year. There are five more books I would like to read, including one from The List. This should be possible, but I'm not going to press too hard.
Painting - Complete. For now, I have no intention of investing in any more miniatures. I should probably find a good home for the left-over paint and brushes!
Wedding Preparations - Ongoing. These remain well in hand. The wedding cars are booked, we had another meeting with the photographer on Saturday, and we sorted out the bulk of the Guest List on Friday. (That last was absolutely brutal. It's really no fun deciding which of your friends not to invite, since you can't invite everyone.)

Five complete, one failed, and four ongoing. Not a bad position to be in at this stage.

#34: "Pathfinder: Forest of Spirits", by Richard Pett

Both barrels...

2011-11-28T16:49:00.000Z

George Osborne has decided to start building infrastructure projects to create jobs, and get the economy moving. He's finally realised that that's the sort of thing that really needs to be done to help fix things.

I was absolutely delighted at this... for all of five seconds. And then it was explained how he was going to pay for it all: yet more cuts. Cuts that don't help at all, that just demoralise everyone, that destroy confidence, and that therefore act as a massive drag on the economy.

He was so close. But he might as well not have bothered. Gutted.

Meanwhile, on the yellow side of our disaster of a government, Nick Clegg has finally realised that people hate the Lib Dems. So, he's going to take action to fix that, right?

Well, no. He's called in his marketing experts to help rebrand the party.

Because of course, when people hate you for your actions, and don't trust you because of your lies, the thing to do is carry on with the same actions but find ways to lie more effectively!

If the Lib Dems want to avoid the annihilation that awaits them at the next election, I recommend the following:

1) Withdraw from the coalition immediately. Abstain from all future votes, thus avoiding bringing down the government, but under no circumstances support any government policy.

2) Replace Nick Clegg as leader, and then throw him, and any other person who held office in this government, out of the party.

That is the minimum required to have a chance. Even that will probably not be enough. But anything less will leave the party tainted with the poisonous stink of supporting the current hated government, and leave intact their deserved reputation for mendacity.

We can rebuild it. We have the technology

2011-11-27T14:58:00.002Z

I have fixed my bookshelves, at least for a little while. The problem seems to be that they were overloaded, with the books forcing the sides apart, tearing the nails out of place, and causing the whole thing to sag.

I took it out of place, tightened the holding screws, re-did the nails, added some new nails... and it seems nice and solid. I have since re-stacked the shelves, being careful not to force so many books in. This has the benefit that the shelves are now back together, but has the disadvantage that there really isn't enough space for all the books. It seems I need to get some more bookshelves.

And that's before even considering all the hundreds of books LC will be bringing with her...

There's only one way to find out!

2011-11-25T15:17:00.002Z

Here's a question: who is the greatest heroine in Sci-fi? I'm pretty sure it's either Sarah Connor or Ripley, but which?

There are actually some marked similarities. In the first film, each is relatively defenceless against a far superior threat. In the second film, each reaches a point where she takes a stand against the foe ("Get away from her, you bitch!" being one of the greatest lines in all of sci-fi).

And in each case, you hear occasional tales of a further sequel or two, but nothing seems to come of it...

Now, I like Sarah Connor, but then I also like Ripley. But which is better?

On the Horns of a Dilemma

2011-11-24T11:17:00.001Z

I have always had mixed feelings about the Harry Potter films. "Philosopher's Stone" is very distinctly a kids film, and frankly an over-long one at that. "Chamber of Secrets", on the other hand, is fantastic - definitely my favourite of the series. "Prisoner..." is probably a really good film, but I found the change in tone to be rather jarring after what had gone before, and unlike others I didn't really welcome it.

"Goblet of Fire" is the last one I own on DVD. For the first time, I found that the film was really too short - the need to compress the story to fit the allotted time really compromised the narrative. "Order of the Phoenix" is my second-favourite film, largely because of the portrayal of Dolores Umbridge (for my mind, the best and most unique villain in Harry Potter). But "Half-blood Prince" again suffered from being too compressed, which was a shame as it's probably the best of the novels.

And then they decided to split "Deathly Hallows" into two films. I am really not a fan of that approach - IMO, only "Kill Bill" has managed to pull off that little trick. Still, I suppose it meant that they didn't need to compress as much. It's just a shame that DH is one of the few books that would benefit from some serious compression - Harry just spends far too long wandering around on the periphery of the action. And so, Part One is largely spent setting things up for Part Two (and so is a rather wasted film), and while Part Two is considerably better (third best in the series, IMO), the climax is rather to pyrotechnic for my tastes - quite at odds with the final showdown in the book.

Why is this relevant?

Well, due to combination of factors. While I am not personally a huge fan, Lady Chocolat is. "Deathly Hallows, Part Two" is about to be released on DVD. However, in a Disney-esque move, the publishers have decided to release it for all of a month, before withdrawing all the DVDs from sale.

All of which leads to a slightly tricky dilemma. I'm inclined to think we should own a set of the movies, and if they're going to be available for only a short time, it should probably be now. That's fair enough - a boxed set of all eight can be had for a very reasonable price.

But... do we go for the DVD set, or a combined DVD/Blu-ray set? At the moment, I have a Standard Def TV and DVD player, but I also happen to know that I'll be being upgraded to a High Def TV in the nearish future, after which a Playstation 3 becomes a very likely purchase. And that suggests the Blu-ray set.

It's a tricky one. Normally, the answer would be "get DVD now, and maybe upgrade later", but with the rapid deletion...

Not Ready for eBooks

2011-11-23T16:39:00.001Z

I'm finding the idea of getting a Kindle and/or iPad (or equivalents) increasingly tempting as time goes on. However, I am as yet resisting, for five reasons:

Despite the oddities inherent in this position given my choice of careers, I'm actually something of a Luddite when it comes to all this newfangled technology. I only got a mobile phone when I was going to visit CJ in the States, and needed some way to be in contact while on the move. I've avoided getting any sort of smartphone, don't bother with Faceboo, and have skipped the delights of MMORPGs entirely. So, to some extent, it's just a matter of principle. (That said, I was an "early adopter" of DVD. Probably one of my best moves, that.)
Can't use a Kindle on an airplane whilst taking off or landing (although you should be able to - those things are hardened against lightning strikes; they can handle passengers reading Dan Brown's latest excretions).
If I'm away somewhere and my £8 book gets lost/stolen/damaged, it's annoying but no big deal. The occasional £8 is below my threshold of notice, so I'll just get a new copy and move on. However, if my £100 Kindle is lost/stolen/damaged, that's quite another thing. Especially since it would also mean the loss (at least temporarily) of the entire library of books contained within, including the three or four other novels I've taken on holiday with me.
This one is specific to the iPad. The one use I have for this device is as storage for my many RPG books. But, in order to be really useful it would need to contain all my RPG books, including the ones currently littering the floor in the Purple Room (due to a broken bookshelf). Many of those books simply aren't legally available in PDF, and in any case buying new copies is too expensive to consider. So the one immediate use I actually have for such a device is also not something I can legally do.
Books aren't subject to VAT. Computer files, including eBooks, are.

#33: "Pathfinder: The Hungry Storm", by Jason Nelson

The Return of Lady Chocolat

2011-11-22T10:17:00.001Z

Lady Chocolat returned from Kenya on Saturday, and I was able to unveil my latest surprise by meeting her at Heathrow. This proved to be a particularly wise move, as the flight up on Sunday was delayed, but more on that later.

Originally, my plan for her return had been to take the day off work and meet her at Glasgow airport. That was pretty much the best I could do. However, quite close to her departure there was a change of dates, which meant that her return would be on a weekend. And so a plan was born... The day after she left, once I had confirmed details of her return flights and hotel, everything was ready.

The last week was pretty dire, actually. Whereas previous weeks had been a case of just getting on with things, this last week was like the countdown to Christmas or to the school holidays - I just wanted it done, was excessively conscious of the clock, and so it dragged out. But, finally, I got to Friday, which was spent on an epic painting session, and then in to Saturday, and I was off.

The flight down was fine. I checked in online, didn't have a bag to drop, sailed through security (who made me put my boat away. Spoil-sports!), waited a while with a coffee, got on the plane, read for a while, and got off the plane. Pretty standard, really. I was amused that they quite often showed our journey's progress on a big map of europe, where the plane icon they were using was bigger than the distance we were travelling on the map!

On arrival, I made my way from Terminal 5 to Terminal 3. This proved to be a mistake - for all its faults, Terminal 5 is a much more modern facility and generally more pleasant. I should probably have waited there until the last minute before transferring. But no matter. In Terminal 3 I got a couple of sandwiches, spent a couple of hours reading, and then spent an hour impatiently bouncing from foot to foot while LC made her way off the plane, through customs, collected her bag, and into Arrivals.

Surprise!

We stayed in the Premier Inn. This is the second time we've stayed in one of their hotels (the first being in Belfast), and I must admit to being impressed. The staff were helpful and welcoming, the room was spacious, and the bed was comfortable. Basically, I couldn't fault it.

Now, I'm not claiming that it is the best hotel I've ever stayed in. However, I have now stayed in most of the budget chains, and this one is definitely the best of those. And the facilities put a lot of other, more expensive, hotels to shame - indeed, in terms of the room itself, it even beats out some much higher-starred hotels. So, that's good.

(Probably the best thing, though, is that PI Heathrow seemed pretty much identical to PI Belfast. That consistency is itself a boon, since it allows one to book with confidence with what you're getting. I've had generally good results by picking at random, but there have been some stinkers, one particular hotel in Paris being notable...)

We went for the full breakfast, and stocked up on all manner of foods. Good thing we did, really. (The breakfast was a most welcome start to the day - the range was good, the quality was okay if not exceptional, and the price wasn't too steep.)

We then made our way back to Terminal 5. There was fog, which meant delays...

LC had to check-in and drop a bag off. Fortunately, when checking in, she found that the seat next to mine was still free. (I had checked in online previously - for some reason I had to do both flights together.) We then proceeded through security again, grabbed a seat, and waited.

Our flight was delayed, but we were told that it was expected to leave at 12:45 instead of 12. As a result of this, we decided that it wasn't quite time for lunch, so waited. And, fair play to them, they seemed to be running roughly to-time, albeit offset by about 45 minutes. So, they got us onto the plane at about the right time for a 12:45 departure...

Pretty much as soon as we were all on the plane, and stuck there, the captain informed us that there was going to be another hour to wait before take-off. We had no choice but to wait, stuck in our seats.

It's fair to say I was more than a little annoyed about that. Firstly, I don't think they should have had us board the plane in that case. Terminal 5 has its faults, but it is much more comfortable than being stuck in a plane unnecessarily. However, I think that decision is forgivable.

But they should have made it clear to us what the delays were going to be. Had we known, we would have made sure to get some lunch before boarding. That way, the additional wait and the flight would have been much more comfortable. Instead, we had to go hungry. And, of course, there wasn't any meaningful food on the plane. Polo mints do not make a good lunch.

Anyway, eventually the flight took off. I read for quite a while, finished my book, started the next one, and then we landed. And all was well - Lady Chocolat was home.

#32: "The Books of the South", by Glen Cook

Waaaagh!

2011-11-19T11:36:00.002Z

After a truly epic painting session lasting more than two whole "Indiana Jones" soundtracks, I finished the last of my Orks last night. The varnish was applied this morning, and they have now joined the rest of the horde (or "Waaagh") on top of my DVD shelves.

I have now completed all but one of the things from my "to do" list for before Lady Chocolat returns from Kenya, and all but one from my "nice to do" list. In both cases, the remaining task was just one step too far, and I have no chance of finishing it off in time.

Anyway, when the last coat went on to the last Ork yesterday I felt suddenly, immensely, happy. Actually, 'happy' isn't quite the right word. Relieved? Free? Something like that.

Given that, why do I now feel a strong urge to rush out and buy a whole bunch more?

Disaster!

2011-11-15T12:15:00.000Z

To my horror, I discovered that one of my bookshelves had collapsed on Saturday. This was terrible, not because of the loss of the shelves (they're cheap and nasty £30 efforts from Argos), but rather because of the books that live on the shelves.

This discovery prompted a hasty round of lifting the books from the shelves, and checking that they were okay. Fortunately, no harm was done. My books had survived.

This is extremely fortunate. The shelf in question contained about half of my RPG books, many of which are now irreplacable (being long out of print, and only having a few copies printed ever), and others of which would be extremely expensive to replace (for the same reason). Not to mention that this is a collection assembled over two decades of play...

Of course, I find it mightily coincidental that Lady Chocolat made her anti-RPG agenda quite clear, then arranged for herself a water-tight alibi, a scant few weeks before the shelves containing my RPG books collapsed... I can only presume her agents are at work in her absence.

Anyway, I now have an additional task for the list, one that won't be finished before Lady Chocolat returns (and therefore, she will be forced to bear witness to the horrors) - the replacement or repair of the bookshelves. My inclination at this time is to go for a repair, rather than to invest in another set of low-quality Argos shelves. I'll need to see, though - the shelves will need to be pulled out of position before I can determine if a repair is possible. My belief is that a good round of nails should do the trick, but one can never know. (Unfortunately, at this time it is not practical to invest in some good shelves, so the only question is whether to repair the existing dodgy shelves or to buy some new, equally dodgy shelves. Since the repair is considerably less hassle, it is preferable.)

#31: "Black Crusade", by Fantasy Flight Games

My Best Friend vs Man's Best Friend

2011-11-08T22:03:00.003Z

Over on the Chrlog, Chris has raised the question of who is to be my best man. Now, naturally, Chris was the second person I thought of (after Optimus Prime, of course, but it turns out that he's fictional and so unlikely to make it). However, there has been a development...

Inspired by the glorious example of Kim Kardashian, I decided to see if I could use the wonders of TV to fund the wedding. Therefore, I pitched an idea for a TV show to Sky: "My Best Friend vs Man's Best Friend" - a reality TV contest where several random blokes would be pitted against dogs in a bid to become my best man. Contestants would be judged on many 'best man' duties, such as the ability to bring me alcohol, willingness to chase after pretty girls, and ability to give a drunken and embarrassing speech on cue.

(Naturally, the balance of tasks would be important, to avoid skewing the contest too far one way or the other. For example, the St Bernard would have a clear advantage in the "bringing alcohol" contest, while the human contestants would have a clear edge in speech-giving over all dogs, except K-9 and the dogs from "Up", of course.)

Anyway, I figured there would be no way that a TV channel would go for such a ridiculous and outlandish concept, but that was because I haven't watched any reality TV lately. Apparently, Sky Living already have a very similar show, but with less intelligent contestants.

So they've commissioned the show.

Naturally, the big decision that needed to be taken was: who would be the judges. Obviously, I would have to be the head judge, but who else would be suitable?

Well, it obviously had to be a mixed panel, so as not to give the human or canine contestants an unfair advantage. And I think we've done a really good job. Playing the role of "the nasty judge", we have Kelsey Grammar who, having been married several times, knows a thing or two about best men. Our celebrity dog judge is none other than the legend that is Bouncer from Neighbours. And our final 'wild card' judge is that paragon of advertising: Churchill. (Although, to be fair, I think he may have agreed just a little too quickly...)

Anyway, look for my show coming this winter!

(Of course, there isn't a single thing in this post that is actually true. Although a big part of me really wishes it was!)

A Fascinating Fact

2011-11-05T21:42:00.004Z

There is only one wedding in the Star Wars saga, which takes place at the end of "Attack of the Clones". This is between Anakin Skywalker and Padme.

What is less obvious is the role of the other characters present. See, the marriage takes place in secret, so only five characters are present: Anakin and Amidala, C-3P0 and R2-D2, and an unnamed official. Obviously, the official conducts the wedding, so that makes sense, but the droids...

Well, it turns out that R2-D2 is the maid of honour, presumably in a Patrick Dempsey style (with all the horror that that entails). See, at that point of time he still belongs to the court of Naboo (canonically, Padme gives him to Anakin as a gift when he becomes a full Jedi Knight, in the Clone Wars cartoon). That clearly means that he's on the bride's side, and since he's clearly neither the mother nor father of the bride, the next most important role...

And C-3P0 must be the best man. Much the same logic applies - he belongs to Anakin, and that's the role that most needs filled.

I'll just repeat that for effect: C-3P0 is Darth Vader's best man.

Anyway, this explains why Darth Vader expresses no surprise at C-3P0's condition when they meet up in Cloud City (in "Empire Strikes Back"). Presumably, he's used to seeing him legless...

A Matter of Succession

2011-11-05T12:31:00.002Z

So, the government have quietly announced that from now on, daughters of the monarch will have the same rights of succession as sons. That is, if William and Catherine's first-born is a daughter, she will become queen ahead of any younger brothers she has.

As a matter of principle, this is something that is long overdue, even if it doesn't really affect anyone currently living. (Depending on how it is worded, it may mean that Anne and her children move up the list, while Edward and his children move down... but barring a major event, neither of these two were ever going to be crowned monarch anyway.) So, on the face of it, this is a good move.

However...

It does rather beg the question of why the eldest child should become monarch anyway. Why Charles, and not Andrew, or Anne, or Edward? After all, the sex of a child is essentially just a matter of probability, and the birth order is likewise just a matter of probability. The eldest child is not automatically in any way a better as a candidate as monarch. If we're eliminating one accident of birth as a criterion for becoming monarch, why not another?

So perhaps when the monarch dies, the surviving children should draw lots to determine who becomes the next king or queen. Or, indeed, perhaps we should have an election.

But, of course, it's actually a very short jump from that to the ultimate step along this path - the elimination of the monarchy entirely. After all, being born a prince rather than a pauper is just a matter of an accident of birth. Being born to a rich family does not automatically make you a better candidate for monarch than anyone else.

(And I say all this despite not actually being anti-monarchy. In principle, I would prefer a republic. But in practice, I can't see any better solution, especially given the caliber of politicians we have currently.)

It's a very dangerous game, adjusting the rules for succession. Because as soon as you make any change, you open the door for making any change.

War and Peace

2011-11-04T09:13:00.002Z

In a mammoth reading session, I managed to reach the end of "War and Peace" last night, a little ahead of schedule. In all, it has taken just under 100 days to get through.

It was an interesting novel, not least because it had a very clear agenda - Tolstoy wanted to argue that history was not a result of the actions of Great Men, but rather an inevitable procession of events that just aren't under anyone's control.

I disagree, mostly. While history is not just the story of Great Men, and while looking for a single ultimate cause of any historical event is rather foolish, this does not by itself negate free will, nor does it make history inevitable.

Tolstoy's argument is rather flawed, in a number of ways. In particular, he makes the assumption that the universe is infinite (it isn't) and that time is infinite (it isn't, in either direction). He also argues that historical events are inevitable, based on the fact that once you've done something you cannot take them back and do them differently. The faulty logical leap here is obvious - just because you cannot now go back and change things doesn't mean that at the time you couldn't have acted differently.

He also attacks historians based on their search for an ultimate cause of historical events. His argument here is that every cause is, itself, the result of some other cause, and so on back in time. This is correct, as far as it goes. However, what he neglects to consider is the possibility of 'windowing' history - when studying the causes of the Second World War, historians won't go back to the Roman Empire and work from there, but rather will go back just a few decades. Having doen this, they'll note the starting conditions, and work from those. In effect, this means that all studies of history are at best a simplification of reality... but that's inevitable. The only totally accurate map of history would be identical to the events themselves!

I think he's also wrong to discount the actions of Great Men entirely. Indeed, he argues that such figureheads are actually the least free figures in history, as they have to act in accordance with the inevitable path of events. But this just isn't true, either.

Arguably, the course of events will be directed by the sum of the will of the seven billion people on Earth. That makes sense (although even that is a simplification, since it neglects factors we do not control, such as the weather). However, it is also true that some people have a greater or lesser impact than others - if Barack Obama decides we're going to attack Iran, that counts for rather more than if I decide we won't!

Tolstoy's counter-argument here is that any movement of armies is dependent on the many people in the army - if the men and women of our armed forces refused to attack Iran, then the will of our politicians is moot. This is true, as far as it goes. However, it depends on many thousands of people exercising their will to countermand the will of one other, and it depends on them doing so even when they're strongly incentivised not to do so. They could refuse to fight, but they won't - if only a few refuse, they will be punished harshly, and a mass refusal is highly unlikely in anything but the most extreme circumstances.

Anyway.

If the purpose of literature is to make us think, then this was a great book, even if I disagree. If the purpose is simply to entertain, then I'm afraid it was little better than okay. I'm glad I read it... but I won't be reading it again in a hurry!

#30: "War and Peace", by Leo Tolstoy (a book from The List)

Fourth Season Syndrome

2011-11-03T15:53:00.000Z

It is an almost univeral law that for any TV series you care to name, the second and third seasons are the very best the show has to offer. (It's not absolutely universal, before you start citing exceptions...)

The reasons for this are quite simple, actually. In the first season, the creators are working without feedback, and so they have to take their best guess at what the audience will like. So, some ideas will work, some will fail, and others will do okay. In the second season, then, they are able to refine the concept. Ideas that didn't work out are dropped, while others that worked well are expanded. And so things are great for a year or two.

Problem is, after three years or so, they will have used up all of their best material. At this point, they will go one of two ways - either they start expanding on lesser ideas (resulting in an inevitable loss of quality), or they will try to take the show in new directions by shaking it up (almost certainly resulting in a loss of quality).

The latest casualty of this law has been "Fringe", which ended its third season extremely strongly. Unfortunately, they've started the fourth season by introducing a major paradox that has dramatically shaken up the world and the characters. The reasoning between these changes makes no sense (in order to fix a broken universe, some of the characters deliberately caused a time paradox?). And, worst of all, they've retconned the previous three seasons. Effectively, it's like jumping into an entirely different show four seasons in, but only after someone managed to destroy all of the DVDs of the previous three series.

Basically, it's not a good situation. As things stand, "Fringe" will be joining "Torchwood", "Bones" and "House" on the reject pile, which is a shame.

Meanwhile, "Merlin" is continuing to be quite good, although it, too, is suffering from Fourth Season Syndrome. (I would say more, but Lady Chocolat hasn't seen it yet... spoilers!) "Strikeback: Project Dawn" has ended, but was at least good fun, if not particularly high art. "Carnivale" remains good, but is nearly finished. And "Terra Nova" remains... okay, I guess.

Finally, two annoyances. It looks like Sky have taken the decision over the last season of "Chuck" out of my hands - they've decided not to bother showing the last thirteen episodes. I'm marginally annoyed at this, since I had decided to see it out. And it's still not clear when (or if) "Clone Wars" will be returning. But then, that's going into its fourth season as well...

As things stand, it looks like I'll be down to "Fringe" and, maybe, "Terra Nova" by the end of the year (with "Nikita" returning in April-ish). Given that neither of these is currently very good, that may finally be the time to drop the Sky subscription - it's been a long time coming.

800th post!

2011-11-02T08:42:00.000Z

This is the 800th post on this blog.

There are 162 days to the 12th of April (I'm not counting down, I just did the calculation). That means, in order to reach 999 posts before the wedding (and thus Part Four), I would need to post a little more than once per day for the next five months.

Which isn't impossible, but I'm not sure I have a sufficient supply of inane waffle and tedious rants to fill up all that space!

Just a Thought

2011-11-02T08:37:00.000Z

I find it very interesting reading much of the comment on the Guardian's website about the interaction between the Occupy protestors and the administration at St Paul's.

The Guardian and its readership is pretty strongly anti-Christian. At any other time, they would be quite keen to wipe St Paul's off the map, to destroy Christianity, and to forget it ever existed. Likewise, very few of the Occupy protestors would normally have anything whatsoever to do with Christianity, and a good number would normally be hostile to the church.

Which is fair enough. I don't agree, but they're entitled to their beliefs. (And, for what it's worth, I'm less than impressed by the actions of the administrators at St Paul's - there's a reason I've been referring to them as 'administrators' rather than 'clergy'.)

But I have to ask: if you're so virulently anti-Christian, what exactly gives you the right to lecture the church for not supporting your pet cause? Especially since the Occupy movement haven't actually told us what they want, only what they're against - and hating the 1% is not a Christian attitude.

Getting Rid of the Kardashians

2011-11-01T16:49:00.001Z

Every so often, some extremely worthy band of folk propose some sort of new legislation for our own good. A smoking ban. A fat tax. A carbon tax. Whatever. It's really quite infuriating, especially since these measures will almost certainly not actually fix the problems, but will just make like that little bit more miserable.

Well, if they are determined to 'help' us in this manner, here's one for them:

I would like to see a total ban on reporting 'lifestyle' stories about celebrities. It should be illegal to report of whatever Jordan is currently doing, on the sex lives of footballers, on Kate Middleton's latest fashion choices (or, worse, whatever her sister's bum is doing these days), on the irreconcilable differences that have caused Kim Kardashian's marriage to break down after 72 days, or any of this rubbish.

They should do it for environmental reasons. Think of all the trees that won't need to be pulped (note that recycled paper is better than non-recycled paper... but not using the paper at all is far better still). Think of all the energy saved because of all those TVs being switched off!

They should do it for feminist reasons. These lifestyle stories are put in magazines to sell to women. The entire industry (along with the fashion, cosmetics and diet industries) bases its business model on reducing the self-esteem of women. (And, worse, they hit you at both sides - firstly, they build these people up, provoking the sense that "I'll never be as good as her", and then they tear them down, encouraging their readers to mock the celebrities... only for the guilt to hit you, leaving you feeling even worse.)

But, most of all, they should do it because these stories, and the celebrities who thrive on them, are just bloody annoying. We should starve them of the publicity they need, so they are forced to either develop actual talent or, more likely, just go away.

The Books of 2012

2011-10-31T09:44:00.001Z

It has been a slightly odd year for books. Thus far I have read 28 books, and with a bit of luck I should finish another 10 or so by the end of the year. This gives a grand total of 38ish. Given that I read 56 books two years ago, and 100 books last year, this seems a rather paltry total. On the other hand, since this year will include both "Les Miserables" and "War and Peace", I don't feel it's too poor a showing. (I should finish "War and Peace" next Monday at the current rate - two days on public transport significantly accelerated my progress there.)

Next year will probably be quite an odd year in many ways, and I'm rather inclined to avoid setting goals at all - I suspect it will probably be best approached with a view to taking it as it comes and just muddling through. Which means that there won't be any reading target for the year.

Which isn't to say I don't have some notion as to how it will look!

I've now reached a point where I've almost completely stopped buying RPG books, and since I tend to read them as I buy them (or, in the past, sometimes not at all), there isn't really any great stack of books waiting to be read. That said, I will need to find an opportunity to read through the "Mutants & Masterminds" rulebook, as I'm planning on running that game briefly next summer. And there will be the usual trickle of "Pathfinder" books. Otherwise, I don't expect many RPG books to appear on the list.

But for the bulk of the year, I expect to be either catching up on, or simply reading the latest novels from, various authors and series.

The most significant of these is probably the "Wheel of Time" series, originally by Robert Jordan. Since Jordan's death, this has now been taken over by Brandon Sanderson, who has been writing the final volume - although that itself has been split into a trilogy of very thick novels (don't ask me how that works!). I currently have the first of these on my to-read pile, while the second was released in paperback earlier this month. The final volume is scheduled for a hardback release at the end of next year, so I won't finish the series until 2013 at the latest.

Next on my list is the "Soldier Son" trilogy by Robin Hobb. Truth is, I didn't particularly enjoy book one of the trilogy, but did enjoy it just enough to read volume two, which was marginally better. Since I hate leaving things partially done (especially trilogies after two volumes!), I have the third volume sitting in my to-read pile. (Actually, there's a decent chance that I'll read this by the end of this year; if not, it will be the first novel I start in 2012.)

And the third and final series that I want to get caught up on is the "Black Company" series by Glen Cook. This is a series I came to fairly recently, and has the advantage of being essentially complete - the author keeps talking about writing more, but never actually seems to do so. There are a total of seven novels remaining, but these days they are only available in compiled volumes - there are therefore three books remaining. The first of these is on my to-read pile (and scheduled to be read immediately after "War and Peace"); the remaining two are waiting for 2012.

Then there are the authors and series I'm caught up on, but who should be publishing new books in the next year. In most cases, they have already published the next volume in hardback, so it's just a case of waiting for the paperback. And so, in 2012 I should read through the next novel in the "Song of Ice and Fire" series, and the "Krondor" series by Raymond E. Feist, and the next novel from Bernard Cornwell, from Conn Iggulden, and from Terry Pratchett. (The other author I follow is J.V. Jones, but apparently the fifth and final volume in her "Sword of Shadows" trilogy won't be released in hardback until 2012, so I'll need to wait for 2013 for the paperback. And, no, don't ask me how that one works, either!)

That accounts for between 20 and 25 of my books for the year, depending on how many I get through this year. The remainder of my reading for next year, if any, will probably be from The List.

Funding Education

2011-10-28T11:57:00.001+01:00

I don't think the provision of free education in Scotland can last.

Under EU law, it is illegal for a member state to charge students from another member state higher fees than they charge their own students. What this means is that students from France, Germany, Greece, and anywhere else can apply to a Scottish university, and receive a free education. (Students from England, Wales and Northern Ireland, however, are charged fees, because the law does not say that you can't charge students from a different part of the same member state higher fees. I suspect this will be successfully challenged in the EU courts - in any case, it's a moral wrong.)

Scotland cannot afford to pay for free education for the whole of Europe. Even though it is right that education should be free, there is just no way this can last. (And, if the UK government were ever to see sense, and reverse their disastrous policy of fees, the same would apply - although education should be free, I don't see how it can be.)

So, what is to be done?

I think we should take a look at the way pensions work.

In theory, what happens is that people (and employers, and government) pay contributions into a pension fund throughout their working lives. These contributions then get invested by (in theory) very clever people, where they accumulate value over time. Then, when the person retires, they gradually withdraw that money over the remainder of their lives, giving them a decent standard of living.

(Now, it's worth noting that this system has been utterly broken by various forms of idiocy. People haven't been investing enough, those investments have been in truly hideous places, and the government has had a nasty habit of stealing the money that should have paid for tomorrow's pensions in order to pay for the budget of today. However, the principle at work is sound.)

In theory, then, a similar mechanism could be adopted to pay for education:

At birth, the government should set aside a fund for each child, as Labour actually did with the "Child Trust Funds" idea.
Over the next several years, a portion of National Insurance (or general taxation) income should likewise be taken and invested in these same funds.
Over the 16-18 years that the child is growing and attending school, therefore, a nice little pot of money should be growing, invested in their name.
When the student leaves school and proceeds on to university, college, an apprenticeship, or whatever other studies/training they do (including education abroad, if that is what they choose to do), the money that has been invested in their name is used to pay the fees for their education. (The money in the pot can only be spent on education of various sorts.)
When the person reaches the age of 25, any money that remains unspent is re-absorbed into the general pot, and invested for the next generation of students.
Universities (and colleges, and apprenticeships, and so on) should charge fees, at a level set by the government. That level should be set so that the 'Educational Fund' available to the average student is sufficient to pay for at least five years of further education, counted from the time at which it is needed.
When people (under the age of 25) enter the country as permanent residents, whether from EU member states, as immigrants, or as asylum seekers, they should immediately be assigned their own 'Educational Fund', which would start to grow, from £0, as indicated in points 1-3. This would then probably pay for part of a training course, meets our obligations under EU law, but doesn't require us to fund free education for all-comers.
It is likely that we should also bring in various educational grants as well, providing some sort of cost-of-living help for students from poorer backgrounds, to enable successful asylum seekers to afford an appropriate education, and so on.

And that's it. That way, universities (and other training facilities) are able to charge the fees that they say they need to in order to survive, our young people don't have to pay massive fees or take on huge debts, the system is properly funded, and we meet our obligations under EU law.

The major weakness in the system, of course, comes if the money indicated in points 1-3 is in fact not invested, but rather is used in the short term for tax breaks or to balance the budget - as has happened with pensions. Sadly, I don't know how to solve the problem of people!

Work is Obsolete

2011-10-28T11:29:00.000+01:00

Back in the day, the shows that predicted the future would generally present to us a vision of the future where people would have to work for only a few hours, a few days a week.

What they neglected to tell us was that this future was no dream of a more leisurely society; it is in fact a nightmare. The fundamental problem: no company is going to pay people to not work. The model presented therefore only worked if the people who were then working for companies owned a share in that company, so that when the company automated the process, and they no longer needed to work, they would still benefit from the prosperity of the company. This was not the case, it is not the case now.

We now live in a world much like that described. In a great many industries, automation has rendered a lot of workers unnecessary. When cars are manufactured, there are still people involved in designing the cars, there are people involved in tooling up the robots to build the cars, and there are people involved in testing the cars. But what there are not are large numbers of people on an assembly line building cars - instead, you have a few people monitoring the robots as they do that.

In other jobs, the work is exported to countries where it can be done more cheaply.

And so, where are unskilled and semi-skilled people supposed to work? Tesco? McDonalds? Or are they supposed to remain permanently unemployed, and live off the state?

The problems with all three 'solutions' is money. The wages offered by the employers listed are pretty low, meaning that actually living on that income is difficult to impossible. Likewise, subsisting on benefits is no way to live long-term.

But the state can't afford to vastly increase the level of unemployment benefits. On the contrary, we really need to get that bill down, because we already can't afford it.

And make no mistake - if Tesco or McDonalds were required to pay their employees much more, they would promptly respond by automating those jobs and getting rid of the staff. In fact, this is already happening - in Tesco, witness the rise of self-service checkouts; in McDonalds, the cook processes are now so carefully specified that a robot could easily do them. The only reason things like shelf-stacking and cooking in McDonalds isn't automated is that it is still (just barely) cheaper to pay a kid minumum wage to do it.

(Likewise, the only reason Nike employ large numbers of people in sweatshops in Asia is that doing so is cheaper than automating the process. If they were forced to pay those workers UK-level, or even US-level, wages for their work, they would get rid of those jobs entirely, and automate the process instead.)

It's a rough situation, and it's only going to get tougher as automation becomes more powerful (we already have robot orderlies in hospitals - how long until every checkout assistant, every waiter, every flight attendant, and so on get replaced with robots?). And, of course, it's even tougher for that segment of our society who cannot readily elevate themselves from 'unskilled' to 'skilled' - and that's not to mention the likelihood that some skilled jobs are likely to become obselete with time (as with miners).

I don't really have any great point to make here, except perhaps to say this: make damn sure your kids get a good education because, unless the revolution comes, they're going to need it!

Adventures in Public Transport

2011-10-27T12:23:00.001+01:00

My car died on me on the way to work this morning. Actually, this was really quite scary - I was pulling out into traffic at the time, when I suddenly found I had no acceleration available. Fortunately, there was nobody behind me, and I was able to reverse back out of the way of the oncoming vehicles. The consequence of this was that I was left without a car, and still needing to get into work.

And so, I was finally forced to do something I've long felt I should do, but never actually wanted to do - I used public transport to get to work.

The argument for public transport is undeniable. Man-made climate change is almost certainly a reality (I'm not 100% convinced, but definitely in the upper 90s), and even if it is not fuel prices are forever escalating. Plus, a decent public transport link stands a chance of turning the dead time spent driving into time I can spend reading, or otherwise use, at least to an extent.

And I live a mile from both a bus station and a rail station, and I work a couple of miles from an airport. One is in a medium-sized town, the other on the outskirts of Scotland's second-largest city. Surely there must be a decent public transport option?

Well, actually, no. I've investigated this before, and there is a link that is adequate for emergencies, but nothing else. It turns out to be a bit better than I thought (at least things seem to run mostly on time), but still...

The best way from home to work is by bus. There are lots of different arrangements, most requiring the use of at least two buses. The direct option is a pretty long and roundabout route, taking a bit more than an hour from getting on the bus to getting off. In theory, the indirect options are much faster... but unfortunately they require the interaction of multiple buses, which inevitably drags things out (as you get off one bus and wait for another).

The net effect is that the best route is actually to walk the mile to the bus station, get the X38, wait an hour, and then walk half a mile to the office. Unfortunately, the bus itself is extremely rattly and takes a very roundabout route (as noted previously) - the net effect was that reading was quite difficult, and I managed to get travel sick. All in all, not the best.

To their credit, the service is reasonably frequent. Between 5:30 and 6:30 (pm), there are almost 7 buses heading home. In the morning, there's a similar flurry of activity at the peak hours (which I missed this morning). So that's not too bad - I can basically travel pretty much when I would want to.

And the price is... well, the price is okay, I guess. A return ticket costs £8.10. Travelling by car probably costs about £6 each day, maybe a little more. I daresay there are cheaper tickets or passes available for folks who travel every day.

So, on two of the three counts that matter to me, the service is actually okay. I could live with the price (although it would be annoying to have to pay more), and the service is frequent enough.

But the duration of the trip is not good enough. Including the walk at each end, the journey probably takes an hour and a half. That's okay occasionally, but it's not going work on a regular basis - it would effectively mean giving up the band and the game, which is not something I'm willing to consider. It would mean extending my working day from 7:00 - 17:30 (wake up to returning home) to 6:00 - 18:30, which isn't acceptable - I refuse to live for the weekends.

So there it is. I'm actually quite glad that I was forced into taking the bus today, since it has forced me to seriously investigate the pros and cons. But it has merely confirmed what I was pretty sure of previously - that the public transport options aren't good enough to use regularly. To correct it, they will really need to put on a bus that runs from Falkirk Bus Station, along the M9 and then the A8, probably to Edinburgh Airport, and certainly to the centre of town. Basically, make the X38 an actual express service, rather than the same service as the 38 but with 'X' in front of the name!

Update on Goals

2011-10-26T10:41:00.001+01:00

It's hard to believe that we're already nearing the end of October. It seems only yesterday that I was moaning that July was lasting forever! (Unfortunately, July was followed by two woeful months in August and September. October, by contrast, has been reasonably okay, except for one thing.)

Anyway, it's long past time that I did another update on my goals for the year:

Super Secret Goal #3 - This is done. Thus far, I haven't annoyed Lady Chocolat enough for her to reverse her decision, which is good!
Blog more - This is well in hand. However, I would like to get to 999 posts by April 11th next year, just in time for Part Four, but that looks over-ambitious.
Lose weight. This is well in hand.
The band got promoted last year, which meant that our goal for 2011 was to attain promotion again. This proved to be far too ambitious, and so this goal is failed.
The situation with the Saturday game is now basically resolved - we're going to try to get together for as many games as possible between now and the end of March, after which we're calling it a day. We might try to get together for the occasional game after that, but it won't be a regular gathering (or attempt at the same).
Write something - this is in progress, although not in the manner that I expected. (Curiously, I find myself in the process of writing a D&D 4e adventure... which is odd.) Due to the nature of the writing project, I won't be able to link to it or post it here. Still, that's a goal achieved.
Relax more - This is done, and proved problematic. The issue was that as I relaxed, I took my eye off the ball in a number of areas, which meant that the problems in August/September were magnified by many other things going wrong at the same time. This leads to the bizarre situation that I am now working harder to keep track of everything, and yet at the same time am actually more relaxed than I was when I was allegedly relaxing!
On books: I'm now in the last 200 pages of "War and Peace", and should be finished that by the time Lady Chocolat returns from Kenya. I'm up-to-date on the Pathfinder books. I have, however, abandoned my read-through of the 1st Edition hardbacks, as they proved not to be terribly interesting.
I have now painted three out of four batches of Orks, and have put the first coat on the fourth batch. Additionally, I have painted all but one of the other figures that were waiting to be done. I need to find some time to apply varnish to several figures that are otherwise complete, need to re-undercoat the one remaining "miscellaneous" figure, and then need to actually paint that one! All being well, I should finish all of these around the end of November.
On the wedding preparations: These are either well in hand, or we've forgotten something important. As far as I'm aware, the biggest thing that is yet to be done is for me to book the wedding cars, which I'm intending to get done by the time LC returns.

And that's it. Three done, one failed, and six ongoing.

Who do you work for, again?

2011-10-25T13:24:00.001+01:00

Yesterday, the House of Commons were obliged to debate the question of whether or not we should have a referendum on pulling out of the EU. And, in the course of doing so, they very neatly displayed one of the major things that is wrong with politics in this country.

For the record, I'm not in favour of leaving the EU, and nor do I think having a referendum is actually a good idea, but that's another post for another day.

However, the government have put in place this ePetition system, where if people get enough electronic signatures on an issue, the HoC are required to debate it. Enough signatures were gathered, and so debate it they did. Sort of.

The thing is, what actually happened is that the three party leaders each used a "three-line whip" to instruct the various MPs on how to vote. Thus, the MPs went through the motions, had the debate, and then duly went and voted against the referendum. Done.

(As I understand it, the 'whips' work like this - each MP is issued with a schedule of the events for the day/week, including the various votes to be taken. The whips will indicate their party's position on the various measures, and then underline the issues based on how important they are. The more times something is underlined, the more important it is, with three lines being the most important. Hence, a "three line whip" means "you will vote this way, and we really, really mean it.")

And so, the net effect from yesterday is that it mattered not a jot what the people of this country want - David Cameron, Nick Clegg, and Ed Miliband have collectively decided we can't have a referendum, and that's that.

But I never voted for Dave, Nick or Ed. In fact, I was never given the opportunity to vote for any of those three. My MP is Eric Joyce. (Okay, I didn't vote for him either, but that's not the point.)

His job is to represent me, and the other people living in my constituency. His job is most definitely not to meekly accept the dictates of Ed Miliband and vote for whatever he says.

(Now, that doesn't necessarily mean he should always do what the majority of his constituents want. That's not how a representative democracy works. However, it does mean that he should represent us and our interests, regardless of what Ed may want.)

And the same is true of all the other MPs up and down the country, of all parties. Dave, Nick and Ed are not running a dictatorship.

I think this is one of the most fundamental things wrong with our democracy - the central parties have acquired too much power and do not properly represent the will of the people. And people sense this, hence the growing disillusionment with politics in this country.

I think three things need to change:

It needs to be written into law that an MP must maintain his or her primary residence within the boundaries of the constituency for three years prior to the election. (A grandfather clause is probably required for the incumbents, both for when this law is brought in, and also in the event of boundary change. But it should apply only to the incumbent, and only if they maintain the same primary residence.) Note that this, at a stroke, eliminates one of the worst excessive of the expenses scandal as well - the practice of 'flipping' the primary residence for tax reasons becomes impossible.

(It does, however, create problems for MP-couples, such as Balls/Cooper or Harman/Dromey. Frankly, I have no problem with that - too many of our MPs live lives completely isolated from the real world. Anything that cuts down on that is a good thing.)
The selection of candidates must be done by the local party without interference from the central party. This practice of parachuting in favoured candidates to safe seats is a disgrace and must be stopped. Likewise, Labour's policy of all-women shortlists is undemocratic and unacceptable. The local party should draw up their shortlist, and then nominate their candidate. (And it must be illegal for the central party to block campaign funds for a candidate they don't like - otherwise, the central party will retain too much influence.)

(Unfortunately, this is likely to set back the process of making parliament more diverse by several steps, as the loss of all-women shortlists reduces the number of women candidates, at least in the short term. This is extremely unfortunate. However, we can either have an undemocratically-appointed diverse parliament or we can have a democratically-elected parliament with no guarantee of any diversity. We can have one of these. I choose democracy.)
Within parliament, the whips must be stripped of any sanction. They can continue to indicate the preferred vote of their respective party leadership, but they should not be able to do anything about so-called rebels. Remember, MPs work for us and should be representing our interests, not those of Dave, Nick, and Ed, so who exactly are they rebelling against?

(We should also probably have some legal way of removing our MP if he ceases to represent us properly. However, in practice I suspect such a thing would be unworkable - either recalls would be so common as to prevent parliament from operating, or the required conditions would be so strong that they could never actually be used.)

That's what I think, anyway.

A New Song

2011-10-22T15:49:00.003+01:00

This should amuse Welshy...

At band last Thursday, the Pipe Major presented us with some new music. Apparently, we'll be learning a new 'song', one more complex than the norm. Instead of all playing together, we'll be learning this in four parts, which get put together...

Yes, the band are going to be learning Pachelbel's 'Canon', or at least the rather poor approximation that is possible when you only have 9 notes available.

Okay Alex, you win

2011-10-21T09:16:00.000+01:00

I have changed my mind on Independence.

For me, there were always two arguments against independence. The first was the matter of my family ties to England. Naturally, this argument remains unchanged.

However, the second argument was economic - I didn't see how an independent Scotland would be at all better off, especially in the current global environment. And given the nature of my job, it seemed likely that I would have to move to England to find work. While I have nothing in principle against living in England again, I didn't want to be forced into doing so.

Unfortunately, I have gradually become disillusioned with the government in Westminster to a point where the economic argument can no longer hold. George Osborne is quite clearly incompetent - although the argument for cuts was extremely strong, he's managed to implemented them in exactly the worst way possible, hurting a lot of people for no benefit, and he now clearly has no Plan B.

Meanwhile, we've had the government launch yet another interventionist war in Libya (that seems to have gone okay... but how long until the civil war?), and we've had yet another betrayal on tuition fees for students.

That in itself wouldn't be a deal-breaker, if I saw any hope on the other side of the house. But Ed Milliband is a lightweight, of no more substance than David Cameron. Worse, he's surrounded by most of the same people who were so disasterous in the last years of the Labour government. Their record on the economy was equally horrible, their record on civil liberties was nothing short of a disgrace... and don't get me started on Harriet Harman.

And, of course, it was the Labour government who took the almost unforgivable steps of first introducing tuition fees, and then adding top-up fees (this latter passed only with support of Scottish MPs, when it was properly an England-only matter). Basically, they opened the door for the current government to devastate our future.

So, given that I would rather not vote than vote for any of the Big Three parties, given that the current government have turned out to be a complete disaster, and given that the current arrangement is still the best available option of a really bad bunch, and given that I see no hope for change... the argument for independence has become overwhelming.

And frankly, England should be joining us.

(I will note, however, that I reserve the right to change my mind again, should circumstances change. In politics, making a U-turn is regarded as a bad thing. In real life, it's called rational thinking.)

#29: "Empire of Silver", by Conn Iggulden

Dear Hollywood

2011-10-15T21:39:00.002+01:00

Next time you want to do a "Three Musketeers" movie, please could you have someone actually read the novel and then adapt that? Don't just have someone watch the old film versions and then steal the 'best bits'.

To be honest, "The Three Musketeers" is actually rather amusing in places. Other places are just stupid, and then there are bits that are worse. And it's really very noticable - the closer the film is to the novel, the better it is. The further it gets from the novel, the stupider it becomes.

But the thing that was really annoying was that they were clearly stealing large bits of the film from the Keifer Sutherland/Charlie Sheen version of the movie. Now that's also quite an enjoyable, if stupid, movie, but it's certainly no adaptation of the novel. In fact, in several places it's actually closer to "Star Wars" than anything else - to the extent that I was able to predict several parts of dialogue on my first viewing of that film.

"The Three Musketeers" is a great novel, one of the best I've read. (I'm not so fond of the sequel, though!) And it probably is ripe for a proper remake - although the Michael York version is pretty definitive, it is also very old, and now largely forgotten. So a new adaptation could be good, without the need for lots of invention by inferior writers.

Still, I did enjoy the bit in Versailles. Firstly because it reinforced the notion of the "Versailles Triangle", but also because the film is set in the reign of Louis XIII, and Versailles was build by his son, Louis XIV.

Ah, the Incompetent Man

2011-10-14T13:44:00.001+01:00

We're three episodes into "Terra Nova" now. I'm giving it six before I decide whether to stick with it or not. Thus far, the signs do not look good. The first episode was quite good, the second less good, and the third worse. It seems they've spent their entire budget on (fairly poor) CGI dinosaurs, leaving them nothing for script, cast or any of the other things that would make the show good.

But the third episode also featured a scene that really got on my nerves.

The two main characters in the show are a husband and wife team. As per standard TV rules, the wife is a hyper-intelligent driven career woman/perfect mother. The husband is a cop. Now, meaning no disrespect to cops, that pairing of 'superwoman' with 'ordinary guy' is pretty overdone, and frankly annoying as hell.

Still, I suppose it wasn't too bad. In that first episode they did establish that he really wasn't any ordinary cop, as he broke out of one max-security facility and then broke into another, all within the first twenty minutes of the show. So, fair enough, I guess.

Anyway, 'ordinary guy' is fair enough. Nothing wrong with 'ordinary guy'. Just as long as they don't make him incompetent...

So, we get to the third episode, where the superwoman wife has to work late at night, leaving her husband to cook dinner and look after their three kids.

Can you guess where this is going?

Yep, sure enough, he proved to be incompetent. This guy who can effortlessly break out of, and then into, max-security facilities found himself bamboozled by the impossible task of cooking dinner for four while handling the needs of three kids. Apparently, he is trained in the use of a frying pan, but only as a means of defence against cartoon creatures.

In the end, his (again, hyper-smart) daughter took pity on his panicked state, and cooked dinner for the family.

Actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure which is the more offensive lesson there: "men are incompetent", or "women, despite whatever skills or intelligence you have, your place is in the kitchen - because men can't".

Either way, it's pathetic.